tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13533386531951893412024-03-05T21:23:30.151-08:00WedNewsDay - Wedding Info, Musings, Tips. Posted each WednesdayRev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-45596762687015796712013-10-30T22:25:00.000-07:002013-10-30T22:26:38.357-07:00A New (To Us) Wedding Location and a Fun Residence Wedding<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>Just when we
thought we had seen all the places where folks celebrate weddings we found
there are some we were not aware of.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_x77WTEHQLwG9KopzQrK2ZRgSVgtIa_ghhuMXM_5ws6Rrn00XZ22-O0ITbp-tknFODrNDM9kUvP0j5J-wp_emiWsWPAxqorhaZwfQh6QtqCz7rC0GiTeSpShARJGF11hDRtz_QpS8DkbP/s1600/2005-06-25+22.26.16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_x77WTEHQLwG9KopzQrK2ZRgSVgtIa_ghhuMXM_5ws6Rrn00XZ22-O0ITbp-tknFODrNDM9kUvP0j5J-wp_emiWsWPAxqorhaZwfQh6QtqCz7rC0GiTeSpShARJGF11hDRtz_QpS8DkbP/s320/2005-06-25+22.26.16.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #990000;">One of several gazebos. This one with pond and fountain</span></i>.</td></tr>
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<br /></div>
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Just two weeks ago we discovered two beautiful places we had
never done before: The Missouri History Museum in Forest Park and the Larimore
House.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
.</div>
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I don't have photos of the History Museum wedding yet but I will share them when I receive them. I
wanted to share some photos of the Larimore House, a beautiful venue in Spanish Lake.</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijgK5oqZgYh12mfkwWiNyBDI3a0Ocm-qEMvQUpsiXciUmcUIzYw_w_Maz7eRkGMy-mFDhmSdRixuT7ddnUYNTe81kqyXjojQ5oQieHfFrWcQgEPjg6z_ZBhgTOOnPzUYo-Sr_xmOUVYd9/s1600/2005-06-25+22.20.41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgijgK5oqZgYh12mfkwWiNyBDI3a0Ocm-qEMvQUpsiXciUmcUIzYw_w_Maz7eRkGMy-mFDhmSdRixuT7ddnUYNTe81kqyXjojQ5oQieHfFrWcQgEPjg6z_ZBhgTOOnPzUYo-Sr_xmOUVYd9/s320/2005-06-25+22.20.41.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Larimore House has several gazebos for outside weddings, plus a house built in the 1800's for staging and and a barn built in the 1860's that has been updated and converted to a chapel and reception facility. <br />
<br />
There are ponds, fountains, creeks, bridges and many more perfect photo spots throughout the facility.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN0a-W9EttnzyKqqcSwPCM8Gmqpp6tfqL0e6pyTr6ypH3uqEHAyMpNN-GBBVmlnJ3vr8XPtTPT723rU8GmGxhos7VJQ_tkWHUftSPkQdoVTlh97ukevSDeOmlO1YJ__Rcqzb9PVhcwMa1f/s1600/2005-06-25+23.57.55ac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN0a-W9EttnzyKqqcSwPCM8Gmqpp6tfqL0e6pyTr6ypH3uqEHAyMpNN-GBBVmlnJ3vr8XPtTPT723rU8GmGxhos7VJQ_tkWHUftSPkQdoVTlh97ukevSDeOmlO1YJ__Rcqzb9PVhcwMa1f/s320/2005-06-25+23.57.55ac.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #990000;">Mr. and Mrs. Johnson's first married kiss </span></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I conducted my recent wedding at a pretty gazebo all made out of stone. As you can see in the photo on the right it is a pretty setting.<br />
<br />
This was my first wedding at the Larimore House and I must say I was impressed.<br />
<br />
Not all of our weddings are in special wedding venues.<br />
<br />
We offer full service weddings through Remembrance Weddings (<a href="http://www.remembranceweddings.com/">www.remembranceweddings.com</a>) at residences all over the Metro Saint Louis, St. Charles and Southern Illinois. We also offer "short and sweet" weddings at residences through WedXpress (<a href="http://www.wedxpress.com/">www.wedxpress.com</a>) and elopement packages through EZ-Wed Elopement Service (<a href="http://www.ez-wed.com/">www.ez-wed.com</a> .)<br />
<br />
The same week we did our weddings at Larimore and the Missouri History Museum we did a fun wedding at a residence in south St. Louis County.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: #990000;">Mr. and Mrs.Smith</span></i></td></tr>
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<br />
The ceremony was performed under a tent erected in the back yard of a south St. Louis County residence. The bride and bridesmaids looked traditional <i>with the addition of boots.</i><br />
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Groomsmen were decked out in caps, camouflage with their jackets and boots.<br />
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Bales of hay and traditional fall decor filled out the decorations. <br />
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Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-60066478544346921742013-10-23T15:53:00.002-07:002013-10-23T22:46:40.196-07:00Forest Park locations<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I've been officiating weddings for the entire 20 years
since I was ordained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Now we have multiple ministers. We have had a run of beautiful weddings lately and I thought I'd share some photos of recent ones in some locations that we have done weddings before and some new ones too. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">The Grand Basin in Forest Park</span></i></b></td></tr>
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Some of these weddings were custom full service ceremonies and some were of the "short and sweet" variety. As the photos show a wedding can be beautiful in either type. So far we've planned this out for two weeks but we may continue and feature more locations and ceremonies.</span></div>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwpACB2Sjothagei5GQMmw05_BgG9nhye3elIig4SOx-u_4kKprQyySBh6UoztFvLdq-spXAYEBKUFOq2S3s1Yi3-r_noAv23fqf3gwMDOFME4LoKHCdGEshp_0vYMZKcV6_9ql7fp-jNu/s1600/DSC_0297a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwpACB2Sjothagei5GQMmw05_BgG9nhye3elIig4SOx-u_4kKprQyySBh6UoztFvLdq-spXAYEBKUFOq2S3s1Yi3-r_noAv23fqf3gwMDOFME4LoKHCdGEshp_0vYMZKcV6_9ql7fp-jNu/s320/DSC_0297a.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><b><span style="color: #0b5394;">Mr. and Mrs. Mulrenin</span></b></i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Our first wedding we are featuring is the "short and sweet" variety that we offer at WedXpress <a href="http://www.wedxpress.com/">www.wedxpress.com</a> and EZ-Wed Elopement Service <a href="http://www.ez-wed.com/">www.ez-wed.com</a> .This one was shot at The Grand Basin in Forest Park.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX2lpuZb9zkCab_pknl4NgyYfuNTF3rEmW-5vXCIQ64DSxuWTxFcd9r1b0oaaPwE-rx1uoYEr8QphrPr8QcirF_aQIYvVqkIigZ_isJaKyuLBt02JFnzna2nlxAyJRjNpETFgJlvjvtVpI/s1600/DSC_0308acc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX2lpuZb9zkCab_pknl4NgyYfuNTF3rEmW-5vXCIQ64DSxuWTxFcd9r1b0oaaPwE-rx1uoYEr8QphrPr8QcirF_aQIYvVqkIigZ_isJaKyuLBt02JFnzna2nlxAyJRjNpETFgJlvjvtVpI/s320/DSC_0308acc.jpg" width="273" /></a><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">These seven to ten minute ceremonies are pre-written and are offered in religious or non religious versions. They may have an exchange of rings or not. </span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">This is not a courthouse wedding. These ceremonies use beautiful language and imagery. The couple receives a keepsake bound copy of their ceremony personalized with their names throughout, as well as a four color certificate of marriage. </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">The EZ-Wed Elopement Services also included a bridal bouquet and 30 or 60 photos like the ones shown here. </span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">I think these photos show that you can have a beautiful wedding that will be memorable without having to spend a lot of money. <span style="color: #7f6000;">(Note that the cost of the officiate is one of the smallest expenses of any wedding.) </span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">Our primary business comes from our full service weddings, done by Remembrance Weddings <a href="http://www.remembranceweddings.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.remembranceweddings.com. </a></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">These more formal weddings are written specifically for a couple based on a questionnaire developed over my twenty years of marrying couples. It evolves as my experience grows so that I really get to</span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">the heart of what is important to the couple and what they really want for their ceremony. I've modified it and the information I involve in the planning twice this year. The questionnaire is really helpful to both those couples .</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpu6BZ65eeexloGsDtjXkENE32taSFbw3vlz4HdmQuIktqPQR1MUpSY0JlH4Z4MJZYTbCSmmhvbHOZjH7b3IiPG1bE3Gj5QNmvExDZOqhjN6s7FrUnZ0a9lzvoAZP8cDzwiVk3YcT4Mp3s/s1600/2005-05-15+22.36.49.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpu6BZ65eeexloGsDtjXkENE32taSFbw3vlz4HdmQuIktqPQR1MUpSY0JlH4Z4MJZYTbCSmmhvbHOZjH7b3IiPG1bE3Gj5QNmvExDZOqhjN6s7FrUnZ0a9lzvoAZP8cDzwiVk3YcT4Mp3s/s320/2005-05-15+22.36.49.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></span></span></div>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">who know exactly what they want but are wanting additional ideas and possibilities.</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;"></span></span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">who don't know exactly what they want but they want to be able to plan a ceremony for their special day and want someone who can help them get a thorough review of the possibilities.</span></span></span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">Our attention to detail both in the ceremonies and the staging of the ceremony separate Remembrance Weddings from the rest of the officiates.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">The two weeks of weddings we feature here in our blog for Remembrance Weddings represent both the old and the new. This week we are featuring some old familiar spots for St. Louis weddings. The first wedding features photos from The Grand Basin and the second are photos of The Jewel Box both in Forest Park, City of St. Louis. </span></span></span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9hhDAJ_-OTCaXdlhsjMZDOhPQqY9byTAbNSCP6ib9el-qTlwKp2_SY4_mFQLhHywC7nzPKV6l2Xe4jcTmpOAVRCbD7boShKemGbDGtp2Awjogn4we-dbY8GWvPRIVL1xx-9auq-OaQraC/s1600/2005-05-15+22.48.26.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9hhDAJ_-OTCaXdlhsjMZDOhPQqY9byTAbNSCP6ib9el-qTlwKp2_SY4_mFQLhHywC7nzPKV6l2Xe4jcTmpOAVRCbD7boShKemGbDGtp2Awjogn4we-dbY8GWvPRIVL1xx-9auq-OaQraC/s320/2005-05-15+22.48.26.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="color: #134f5c;">Mr. and Mrs. Hawkes-Cates</span></i></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">Both are very familiar locations as I have done several ceremonies a year at each over the last 15 or so years.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">The Grand Basin is a beautiful spor for either the short or the full service wedding. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;">Next week we'll show you some new spots....at least new to us. And a unique home wedding.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #7f6000;"><span style="color: black;"> </span> </span></span></div>
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<br />Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-7002532176359257402013-10-03T10:45:00.002-07:002013-10-03T10:45:20.893-07:00At your wedding all eyes are on three people<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At your wedding all
eyes are on three people</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #990000;">The Bride, the Groom</span> <span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: #365f91;">and the Minister</span></i>.<span> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>wedding is a significant event in anyone's
life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am always amazed by the folks
who shop for the cheapest minister rather than the best. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They call and instead of trying to learn about
the services and ministers their only question is "What is the price?
" </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It reminds me of the joke about the astronaut
climbing aboard the rocket about to take him into space who said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">" I understand that I face incredible
odds and many unforeseen dangers as I climb into this rocket, knowing full well
that every nut, screen, O- ring, seal and gasket was selected because it had
the cheapest price."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Considering that the cost of the
officiate or minister is one of the cheapest elements of the wedding, it is my
belief that this is an unwise way of thinking. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEp67w2-BgbxmK217LIdvhSfMoqHrmroJNx6PPon0Wl1vFot1NEAW__6ZopuOZcYxeM74yPm20QJMwnazS6vrvfKkFncVHIaNdp68QLH51PKqKaly9HFBRjNoUP71FrJVpmjQcY2r09YL/s1600/Lowrey.Feltner4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEp67w2-BgbxmK217LIdvhSfMoqHrmroJNx6PPon0Wl1vFot1NEAW__6ZopuOZcYxeM74yPm20QJMwnazS6vrvfKkFncVHIaNdp68QLH51PKqKaly9HFBRjNoUP71FrJVpmjQcY2r09YL/s320/Lowrey.Feltner4.jpg" width="303" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">If you are looking for a wedding
minister my advice to you is remember the headline on this blog. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">At your wedding all eyes are on three
people. <span style="color: #990000;">The Bride....The Groom....and the Minister.</span> So your choice of minister is more important than an upgrade in the
reception costs for seat covers, or whether the buffet choice is roast beef
over chicken.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Because a year after your wedding no
one will remember whether they ate roast beef or chicken or whether they seats
had covers or not.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But if the minister doesn't provide a ceremony
that is Beautiful....Meaningful....and Memorable it probably won't be
remembered at all or perhaps will be remembered for all the wrong reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we guarantee it isn't a <a href="http://www.remembranceweddings.com/" target="_blank">RemembranceWedding</a>, or one done by one of our associate companies.....<a href="http://www.wedxpress.com/" target="_blank">WedXpress</a> and <a href="http://www.ez-wed.com/" target="_blank">EZ-Wed</a>
Elopement Services. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Because of our mission and our money
back guarantee is that we will provide you a "Romantic Personal Wedding
Ceremony You'll Remember Forever....Beautiful....Meaningful....Memorable.</span></div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-64664721512663115882013-09-25T18:42:00.001-07:002013-09-26T20:37:41.879-07:00The 10 Habits that Keep Marriages Strong with Commentary<br>
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The 10 Habits that Keep Marriages Strong</h1>
<cite class="byline vcard">By <span class="fn"><a data-rapid_p="3" href="http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/author/redbook-ycn-1137261/" rel="author">Redbook</a></span> | <span class="provider org"><a data-rapid_p="4" href="http://shine.yahoo.com/blogs/love-sex/">Love + Sex</a></span> – <abbr title="2012-11-01T16:38:49Z">Thu, Nov 1, 2012 12:38 PM EDT</abbr></cite></div>
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<b>The key to wedded bliss isn't over-the-top romance, but these
surprisingly simple practices you can do to stay - or fall back - in
love with your partner.</b> By Holly Corbett, <a data-rapid_p="1" href="http://www.redbookmag.com/?link=rel&dom=yah_life&src=syn&con=blog_redbook&mag=rbk" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="">REDBOOK.</a>
<span style="color: #990000;">With additional commentary by Reverend Charles E. Million</span><br>
<br>
<span class="yom-figure yom-fig-left" style="width: 310px;"><img height="233" id="2519484" name="2519484" src="http://l.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/kS23tBxPrDzHt3vgwwMG7w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTMxMA--/http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/blogs/partner/470_2519484.jpg" title="" width="310"><span class="legend"></span></span><b> </b></div>
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<b>Not trying to change each other</b>
<br>
Maybe you wish he folded his socks, or that he would chat it up
with your friends without prompting. But, his inability to notice hair
in the sink may stem from the laid-back personality that drew you to him
in the first place. "One of the things we see with <span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1379746988384_2">happy couples</span> is that they know their partner's differences, and have pretty much stopped trying to change the other person," says <span class="yshortcuts cs4-ndcor" id="lw_1379746988384_1">Darren Wilk</span>, a certified <a data-rapid_p="2" href="http://www.gottman.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Gottman Couples Therapist</a>
with a private practice in Vancouver, British Columbia. "Rather than
trying to fight their partner's personality style, they instead focus on
each other's strengths." To better understand how to tap into both of
your best qualities, take this <a data-rapid_p="3" href="http://bestmarriages.com/resources/online-assessments/relationship-personality-profile/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">quick relationship personality quiz</a>.
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<span style="color: #990000;">From our work at The Relationship Centers and Relationship Counseling Associates we understand how important this really is. We even offer testing and counseling sessions to help couples understand the differences in their temperament and personality type and how to communicate so that your "better half" will have a better understanding. We also look at the 12 areas of importance that cause the most issues with couples and help you learn about your differences in these areas and talk through them.</span><br>
<b><br>
Framing your demands as favors
</b> Whether you want him to unload the dishwasher more often or
pay closer attention to the kids, your partner will be more likely to
change his behavior if he feels like he'll get <span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1379746988384_5">relationship</span>
brownie points. "Throw it out there like a favor. Present it like 'here
is the recipe for what will make me happy,' because everyone wants to
make their partner feel happy," says <span class="yshortcuts cs4-ndcor" id="lw_1379746988384_9">Wilk</span>.
"When you present your needs, present them as what you do want rather
than what you don't want." Instead of saying, "I hate when you have to
have everything scheduled," try saying, "I would love to have a day
where we can just be spontaneous."<br>
<span style="color: #990000;">Presentation and perception are so important. Perception is reality for most of us. That is....how we perceive a statement is what it means to us...even though it may not be what the person communicating with us meant at all. So, we must communicate in such a way that they perceive it in the way we mean it.</span><br>
<br>
<b>Vocalizing your apprecation</b>
<br>
Giving your partner positive reinforcement sounds like a
no-brainer, but couples often forget to do it. "Relationship expert
Gottman's research found that in everyday life, <span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1379746988384_3">happy couples</span>
have 20 positive moments - such as a shared look, compliment, or
affectionate touch - to every negative moment," says Wilk. Tell him
something positive three times a day, and be specific. Instead of
saying, "You're a good dad," tell him why. "You're a good dad because
you helped our daughter with that puzzle, which I never would have had
the patience to do." </div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">Commenting on what we appreciate is harder to do than you think. We take so much for granted. But it is important to praise our partner with specifics.</span><br>
<br>
<b>Focusing on the positive</b>
<br>
"Unhappy couples are stuck in a negative state of mind," says Wilk.
"You will always find what you look for. If you look for stuff that bugs
you and that your partner is doing wrong, you will find it every day.
If you look at what your partner is doing it right, you'll find it
everyday." It's a choice to flip your mindset, so when you find yourself
getting annoyed, visualize something he does that makes your heart
flutter to halt the negative thought circuit.
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<span style="color: #990000;">Unfortunately most of us comment on the negative things not the positive. When we do that our partner builds up a lot of resentment and feels that we don't see the good things. And guess what.... many of us don't....we focus on the things that annoy or anger us.</span><br>
<b><br>
Taking trips down memory lane
</b> "Happy couples tend to rewrite history by glossing over the
bad stuff and focusing on the happy times," says Wilk. By reliving
memories out loud to your partner, it actually changes your mindset, and
how you view him and think about your <span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1379746988384_6">relationship</span>.
Try this exercise whenever your feel your relationship needs a boost:
Go over the highlights of when you were first dating, or rehearse the
best moments of your relationship (such as the day you had an impromptu
picnic in the park during your lunch hour, or that surprise anniversary
date he took you on) to uncover buried memories. </div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">This is so important. We all have good and bad memories in our relationships. If we only concentrate on the negative then our relationship will be a negative one.</span><br>
<b><br>
Never siding with the enemy
</b> "Sometimes what affair-proofs relationships is simply being
there when your partner needs to vent, and having their back without
trying to fix the problem," says Wilk. "People want someone to listen to
them." The key is to be supportive, and never take the side of the
person he's venting about - even if you can see where that person is
coming from. For example, if he is upset that his boss took away a
contract and gave it to someone else in the office, now is not the time
to say, "Well, maybe you didn't put your best effort in." Right now he
needs his feelings validated, and to hear you say, "That must have been
really hard." <span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1379746988384_4">Happy couples</span> know when to bite their tongues. <b><br><br>
Not getting too comfortable
</b> Trust, security, and commitment are key elements in any
relationship, but having them doesn't mean you can treat your
relationship as rock-solid, and stop trying. "Relationships are a
fragile ecosystem, and that's why there is a 50 percent divorce rate,"
says Wilk. "Happy couples keep dating, telling each other they look
great, and doing things together." <b><span style="color: #990000;"> </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">Most of us our guilty of this. </span><b><span style="color: #990000;"> </span></b><span style="color: #990000;">Our relationships only stay healthy when we keep working on them.</span><br>
<b><br>
Having rituals of connection
</b> "It's not only about having a date night, but happy couples
seem to do a lot of mundane things together," says Wilk. "They have
little habits that they decide to do together, whether it be sitting
down to pay the bills once a month or folding laundry." We say, anything
to make that pile of dirty clothes feel more manageable.
<br>
<br>
<b><br>
Knowing your partner's calls for attention
</b> Happy couples are mindful of those little moves their
partners do for attention. When Gottman's team studied 120 newlyweds in
his Love Lab, they discovered that couples who stayed married six years
later were paying attention to these bids for connection 86 percent of
the time, compared to only 33 percent of the time for those who later
divorced. So look out for the little things, and respond to his need to
connect. Like if you're grocery shopping and he casually mentions that
he hasn't had Fruit Loops since he was a kid, throw them in the cart for
him to show that you care. <b><br><br>
Doing the little things
</b> "When it comes to <span class="yshortcuts cs4-visible" id="lw_1379746988384_7">relationship</span>
satisfaction, you can't just ride on the big things like, 'I don't
drink, I pay the bills, I don't beat you, we went to Hawaii last year,'"
says Wilk. "This stuff is not really what keeps couples happy in their
daily lives." What really matters is all the small stuff that adds up,
such as being there for each other when one needs to vent, or noticing
when he needs a hug, or making him his favorite meal just because. "It's
also giving up on the idea that you have to feel in love all the time.
Marriage is about trust and commitment and knowing each other," says
Wilk. "That's what love is." </div>
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Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-11069518881778639082013-09-18T18:52:00.003-07:002013-09-18T18:52:46.187-07:00New Look, New Logo and New InformationWe have a new look to our web site www.remembranceweddings.com and a new logo, shown below. According to the latest Google Analytics Report<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjugfZvdjPDPUqF_juah-Ct6G6srRxlRnGa5mG-3y-GPMGiUGG4P0F5dNjdI_hlH-j6-mFquofwgXlJ1yBEekRdT7egQgrnVpDCn0YIVgW0zczG-p3-qHYI4-eIyzLFonv2i3s0DQ2eG3Ni/s1600/remembrance-weddings-logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="116" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjugfZvdjPDPUqF_juah-Ct6G6srRxlRnGa5mG-3y-GPMGiUGG4P0F5dNjdI_hlH-j6-mFquofwgXlJ1yBEekRdT7egQgrnVpDCn0YIVgW0zczG-p3-qHYI4-eIyzLFonv2i3s0DQ2eG3Ni/s640/remembrance-weddings-logo.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
3.7 % of couples coming to our site search specifically for our name REMEMBRANCE WEDDINGS. Some of that is our work in branding and some from folks who found us on sites likeWedding Wire, MyWedding.com, WedPlan, Wedding.com etc. <br />
<br />
We have added a lot of info to the site, and we have incorporated new services in elopement packages.<br />
<br />
In the coming week we will be adding more on elopements and new locations for our WedXpress short and sweet weddings and our EZ-Wed Elopement Packages.<br />
<br />
As always, we welcome your questions.<br />
<br />
Cordially<br />
<br />
Reverend Charles MillionRev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-57326417880919785972013-09-04T12:07:00.001-07:002013-09-07T09:57:42.893-07:00Updated Web SiteWe have updated and improved our web site including a welcoming video . Check it out and let me know how you like it. Here is a link to the welcoming video <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7neAlvCkZM" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7neAlvCkZM</a>.<br />
<br />
And here is the link to the updated web site. <a href="http://www.remembranceweddings.com/">http://www.remembranceweddings.com/</a><br />
<br />
Have a great week everybody.Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-7401522268591701582013-08-29T09:54:00.000-07:002013-08-29T09:54:02.987-07:00More on ElopementThis week we continue to share information on the growing trend of marriage by elopement. Click on this link for more. <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://weddings.weddingchannel.com/wedding-planning-ideas/wedding-ceremony-ideas/articles/the-eloping-trend.aspx?MsdVisit=1">http://weddings.weddingchannel.com/wedding-planning-ideas/wedding-ceremony-ideas/articles/the-eloping-trend.aspx?MsdVisit=1</a></div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-18736494713010897252013-08-22T12:11:00.000-07:002013-08-22T14:20:53.192-07:00Elopements on the riseThis week I have attached an ABC News video about elopements<br />
<br />
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Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-42895615416738381502013-08-14T21:31:00.000-07:002013-08-14T21:40:02.097-07:00What do you think is your main responsibility as an officiate?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>What do you think is your main responsibility as an
officiate?</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have responsibilities to both the state and the couple in
a civil or non religious wedding. There is additional responsibility in a
religious wedding.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: blue;">My responsibility to the state is:</span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib4s1SfkMYJAv5W20GlwDG6rsaiIpZeBP3za-EV366JXO9BOgMnElas7EWvXQ25R1nsEBDcZbnW61sNWJzLSNlx_2dHyRTC8V4LvflWiabITuYCgvUbuGEofKhyphenhyphenO3AWTuygLhIVROJtZ2J/s1600/img011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib4s1SfkMYJAv5W20GlwDG6rsaiIpZeBP3za-EV366JXO9BOgMnElas7EWvXQ25R1nsEBDcZbnW61sNWJzLSNlx_2dHyRTC8V4LvflWiabITuYCgvUbuGEofKhyphenhyphenO3AWTuygLhIVROJtZ2J/s320/img011.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outdoor gazebo wedding at the DeMenil House</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>to make sure that the couple has obtained a
marriage license and that it is less than 30 days since they obtained it. </li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>The state requires that I know the people that I
am marrying are the people on the license. If I know the couple there is no
problem but if I do not know them I must verify their identity with a government
issued photo ID.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>In Illinois I must be sure the ceremony is being
performed in <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the same county where it
was obtained. Missouri does not have this requirement, as a Missouri license
can be obtained in any courthouse anywhere in the state and it is good
throughout the state. </li>
<li> Finally, I have the responsibility of seeing that the paperwork is filled out correctly and that it is filed with the Recorder of Deeds on a timely basis, </li>
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<br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="background-color: white;">My responsibility to the couple is immense and one I take very seriously:</span></span></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li>First to make sure that the couple gets the
wedding of their dreams....the kind of ceremony that they want, and one which (if
they choose) reflects their personalities and the unique bond which links them.</li>
<li>Further, I take responsibility that the wedding<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>meets the Remembrance Wedding three part
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSIJ9pcwl1a6AiH1_lhN4PMDsg6zwiUk5d8rSwXZor6RasVS8oS9o-cvqLS3_GSxCFqE4x568TM8jP4TmZS_t1EAZ1c8m-ZzHJyhB5FOYBgI1kLrjOrGz6tNBJJF-zLXA8l3PhPBLE8fXu/s1600/Cullinane.+Moore.c..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSIJ9pcwl1a6AiH1_lhN4PMDsg6zwiUk5d8rSwXZor6RasVS8oS9o-cvqLS3_GSxCFqE4x568TM8jP4TmZS_t1EAZ1c8m-ZzHJyhB5FOYBgI1kLrjOrGz6tNBJJF-zLXA8l3PhPBLE8fXu/s200/Cullinane.+Moore.c..jpg" width="158" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Back yard wedding beside pool.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
mission. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="color: #660000;"><i>The wedding should be beautiful</i></span>....in language and
in the pictures that it paints....both in the minds of the couple and in the
minds of the attendees.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><span style="color: #660000;"><i>The wedding should be meaningful.</i></span> I try to stay
away from empty fluff and use the ceremony to make the couple and their guests
think about love, marriage and the things that are necessary to make marriage
work.</li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> <span style="color: #660000;">
</span></span></span></span><span style="color: #660000;"><i>The wedding is memorable.</i></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="color: #660000;"> </span> </span>I try to stay away from wedding language,
vows, rituals and readings which are overused., unless the couple specifically
requests it. I want the couple and the guests to remember the wedding and its
contents through the years. You can only do that if the text isn't the same thing they have heard at many weddings with many ministers.</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: blue;">I have an additional responsibility if the wedding is religious. </span> I want the
ceremony to be true to the religion of the couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they are of different faiths I try to
blend the elements of both religions being true to both without one
overshadowing the other. Luckily my position as International Moderator of the United Fellowship of Interfaith Ministers,gives me easy access to files from most of the major religions and a lot of the smaller ones; too. Between those files and the power of the net, and contact with ministers of that faith I have been successful at writing and performing ceremonies from many faiths.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which of these is the main one? I have been unable to pick
just one. I'd be interested in hearing what you think? Leave me a note if you
would like to choose one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cordially,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reverend Million </div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-55642119160590733672013-08-07T21:53:00.002-07:002013-08-07T21:53:40.351-07:00Have you ever turned down a couples invitation to perform a wedding ceremony and why?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</span></b></div>
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<b><img alt="REMEMBRANCE WEDDINGS" height="31" src="file:///C:\Users\max\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.gif" width="696" /></b></div>
<b>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYH93T0DvFV_X2aY2OwueHFMR6gsueyAyboLiAdmuJHB3ChHLL6vbF3t7n7-FhOfD7yQaJsnqpHN63ihXhuJVYCeuIQoaH3PCjSXwIq8qK0nT13KZkHh_j9beBVt5WBKwk_gBy9MhL0eXQ/s1600/km_0807cc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYH93T0DvFV_X2aY2OwueHFMR6gsueyAyboLiAdmuJHB3ChHLL6vbF3t7n7-FhOfD7yQaJsnqpHN63ihXhuJVYCeuIQoaH3PCjSXwIq8qK0nT13KZkHh_j9beBVt5WBKwk_gBy9MhL0eXQ/s200/km_0807cc.jpg" width="184" /></a><a href="http://www.remembranceweddings.com/"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt;">www.remembranceweddings.com</span></a><span style="color: #8db3e2; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 8.0pt;">a service of the Spiritual Growth
Fellowship </span></i></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 8.0pt;">a<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>church of The Sovereign Holy Order of Saint Raphael </span></i></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #8db3e2; font-size: 14.0pt;">Beautiful,
Meaningful & Memorable</span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #d99594; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-themecolor: accent2; mso-themetint: 153;">Romantic
Personal Wedding Ceremonies You’ll Remember Forever</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 8.0in; text-align: center; text-indent: 4.5pt;">
<span style="color: #17365d; font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The Most Reverend Doctor Charles E. Million, D.D.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Monotype Corsiva"; font-size: 14.0pt;">12 Lake Forest Court West - Saint Charles, MO 63301</span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-size: 8.0pt;">Email:</span><a href="mailto:maxmillion1@earthlink.net"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt;">maxmillion1@earthlink.net</span></a><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-size: 8.0pt;"> </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/remembranceweddings@earthlink.net%20"><span style="font-size: 8.0pt;">remembranceweddings@earthlink.net</span></a><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-size: 8.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f7f7f;"> </span><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-size: 10.0pt;">Phone:636-925-1703</span><span style="color: #c0504d; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-themecolor: accent2;"> </span><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-size: 10.0pt;">Or:314-965-5648 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Toll Free: 888-521-8146 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Cell:314-503-4727 <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fax:636-724-1325</span><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
</b><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="tab-stops: 8.0in; text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> Have you ever turned down a couples
invitation to perform a wedding ceremony and why did you turn them down?</span></b></div>
</span></b><br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was approached by two women who
wanted a ceremony.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was agreeable to
performing a ceremony. I did explain that since Missouri does not honor same
sex marriages it would not be legally recognized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The woman on the phone said she understood
that. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We planned out the tone of the
ceremony, what rituals they were interested in having me perform , the types of
vows, procession et al.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I sent her an agreement for a Commitment
Covenant Ceremony. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I received a call
from both women who expressed their displeasure that they wanted the agreement
and the ceremony text to use the word "Marriage."</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRIoF68Ww6YQMGQgXv8PpNPrFYvAWmdWrT3TotQHE-wq1Ii5rioFlrkCyKwb8FmUBokNakeg0fOJZgG_CfkSHoaNNhh7H1118bVUWclO3zzlbdw6DE_dwKkS5mA1kzbTQ46JhtgZHhb8Zz/s1600/OBryans.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRIoF68Ww6YQMGQgXv8PpNPrFYvAWmdWrT3TotQHE-wq1Ii5rioFlrkCyKwb8FmUBokNakeg0fOJZgG_CfkSHoaNNhh7H1118bVUWclO3zzlbdw6DE_dwKkS5mA1kzbTQ46JhtgZHhb8Zz/s200/OBryans.jpg" width="135" /></a><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I explained that Missouri law
contained a specific provision against using the word "Marriage" in a
same sex ceremony and penalties included fines and the loss of my right to
perform marriages in Missouri.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
insisted that the wanted the ceremony text to use the word
"Marriage." </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I respectfully declined to perform
the ceremony.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I respect the right of same sex
couples to marry and am happy to work with them so their special day is
everything they want it to be. Now Illinois recognizes same sex marriages. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I am pleased to offer services to
same sex couples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I f Missouri same sex
couples wish a ceremony, I can perform a Commitment Covenant in Missouri or a
marriage ceremony in Illinois.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Illinois same sex couples, I am happy
to work with you on your marriage ceremony.</span></div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-65935734080057532292013-07-24T21:55:00.002-07:002013-07-24T21:55:44.094-07:00What is the biggest mistake you ever made and "vowed" never to repeat?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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What is the biggest mistake you ever made and
"vowed" never to repeat?</div>
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<br /></div>
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I have
thought about this question a lot. I have made mistakes in weddings I know, but
they have been small ones, mostly typos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess the biggest mistake was misspelling the bride's name on a
complimentary bound copy of the ceremony that I provide the wedding
couple.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew the correct spelling and
made a typo when I was preparing it. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFxhzwxYJjKR5rCLNg_UbLIUql4sufIX35D0YxdBAJdHQZlgLxybjdDpuLC3nvXXqHl7SjjCH_vlgXks2EBuFNmQqScau0pcNEqcXERWgcjy2p8cUbDDZMB5QYGH0axehZz2EeCsP3aQud/s1600/IStone+Wed+Bee+Tree+Park.if.c.a.s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFxhzwxYJjKR5rCLNg_UbLIUql4sufIX35D0YxdBAJdHQZlgLxybjdDpuLC3nvXXqHl7SjjCH_vlgXks2EBuFNmQqScau0pcNEqcXERWgcjy2p8cUbDDZMB5QYGH0axehZz2EeCsP3aQud/s320/IStone+Wed+Bee+Tree+Park.if.c.a.s.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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I apologized
to the couple and prepared a new copy with the correct spelling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have taken steps to not repeat the mistake.
</div>
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<br /></div>
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This would
be the shortest blog entry in my history if I stop now so I will relate a story
about a mistake I was witness to.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I was doing
a wedding at Bee Tree Park at the mansion gardens. I had done the rehearsal on
Thursday and was showing up an hour early, as is my custom, on Saturday to set
up for the wedding. I was surprised because there were some guests already
sitting in the chairs that had been set up for the wedding. One of the items I
was carting in was a music stand. </div>
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<br /></div>
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One of
ladies there saw the music stand and came over to me and said, " I sure
could use that, I left mine at home. Could I borrow it?" </div>
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I explained
that I needed it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She asked "Are
you playing music at the wedding?" "No, I told her. I am the
minister." "No, " she stated, "that can't be....I am the
minister."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>" Well I did the
rehearsal on Thursday," I told her. " And nobody has called to tell
me I'm no longer doing it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me ask
you, what is the name of the Bride and Groom?" </div>
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<br /></div>
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She and the
guests in the chairs were at the wrong wedding. The wedding she wanted was at
the other end of the park.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And it was
already ten minutes after the wedding she was doing was supposed to start.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I learned a valuable lesson. Whenever I
do a wedding in a park I always pin down exactly where the ceremony is to be
held.</div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-17719857221622845832013-07-17T21:36:00.000-07:002013-07-21T23:15:03.221-07:00What is the most moving wedding you celebrated<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I noted a Post on Facebook from a
wedding officiate in another state that was a series of questions about
weddings and the officiate's response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
found my responses were different so I decided to post the first questions and
MY answers to this weeks's WedNewsDay blog and cover some of the others over
the next few weeks..</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What was the most moving wedding you celebrated?</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have done many moving weddings in
the twenty years that I have been ordained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To pin down one as the most moving is tough. I've had a few that have
moved me equally.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I married a couple who had been high
school sweethearts but had gone to separate colleges. They had drifted apart
and married other people. Some time after the man had obtained a divorce he
started thinking of his high school sweetheart. He had been prompted to think
of her by hearing <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">: I know You're Out
There Somewhere </i>by the Moody Blues.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
didn't know what her name was now or where she was living. He did some research
and didn't find her. He refused to give up and hired a detective to find her.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It took him a little time to work up
the courage to contact her. Finally he got up the nerve and called her on the
phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As luck would have it, she just
finalized her divorce that week.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Over time they built their
relationship and about two years after they got back together in spirit and
after many visits back and forth between the two cities they came to me to get
married.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpVwjJFnyXeSnrwsvxtR777y5CZyhvknluOz2eEnqM7cZL2Q0x14oLcqv036Uba9gtVdnSJYmS8mGaoKJbKYikwoSgGjx7tszB4ws5WKcFwTuNxJ_pntD_lyzdMCQ5SwL2tuYnQjXOxq73/s1600/Rosebrough+MB+Wed.adj.sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpVwjJFnyXeSnrwsvxtR777y5CZyhvknluOz2eEnqM7cZL2Q0x14oLcqv036Uba9gtVdnSJYmS8mGaoKJbKYikwoSgGjx7tszB4ws5WKcFwTuNxJ_pntD_lyzdMCQ5SwL2tuYnQjXOxq73/s320/Rosebrough+MB+Wed.adj.sm.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Moody Blues were more than just
the spark that got them back together, the group had been very popular and
their favorite during the time they were dating in high school.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Moody Blues were soon to be
playing at what was then known as the Riverfront Amphitheater.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I contacted Riverfront and Moody Blues
management and secured the right to perform the ceremony at the Moody Blues
concert in St. Louis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was 100 degrees
that Saturday and I was in a tuxedo.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I integrated Moody Blues references
and lyrics into the ceremony and married the couple at the concert with 18,000
guests.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">It was a very moving ceremony and day as we got to sit in great seats to watch the Moody Blues after the wedding <i>sans the tuxedo.</i> </span></div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-82858502454049641962013-05-29T15:23:00.003-07:002013-05-29T15:25:59.740-07:00We're still here...just at a different addressWe're still removing things from boxes and getting out our new address (12 Lake Forest Court West- St. Charles, MO 63301-4540) and phone number (636-925-1703) to all the wedding sites and our web site.<br />
<br />
We changed phone companies twice during the move. Why twice? Because Sage Telecom was a nightmare and we ended up without phones for weeks with callers getting a "Disconnected" message.<br />
<br />
AT&T got everything straightened out and we have phone and fax again.<br />
<br />
Here is a link to the latest Summer Wedding Style Guide from GQ Magazine: <a href="http://www.gq.com/style/style/wear-it-now/201306/the-gq-guide-to-wedding-style?mbid=nl_weekly1#slide=1" target="_blank">http://www.gq.com/style/style/wear-it-now/201306/the-gq-guide-to-wedding-style?mbid=nl_weekly1#slide=1</a>Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-63050080088304464452013-03-20T19:25:00.003-07:002013-03-20T19:25:28.212-07:00Other Rituals<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">This week we will
continue our discussion of Rituals</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Rose/ Vase Ritual</span></b></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVvXbyk2pN7uzu_WIP_-Vl4l9rWdGmV5JyxrzHtPEp-L69_Txyew3yyXebwoFiV7tqnIaxcIV3d8vIh_-Lyb8AheaKYsvZppgujqQz3qdVBARnWh96JbhEzNgrvODNzJDoosX5waHsg25G/s1600/Leadford.Ballard.21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVvXbyk2pN7uzu_WIP_-Vl4l9rWdGmV5JyxrzHtPEp-L69_Txyew3yyXebwoFiV7tqnIaxcIV3d8vIh_-Lyb8AheaKYsvZppgujqQz3qdVBARnWh96JbhEzNgrvODNzJDoosX5waHsg25G/s200/Leadford.Ballard.21.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rose and Vase Ritual</td></tr>
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There are
many versions of rituals using roses found on the net. The one I use is one
that wrote the majority of myself.</div>
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<br /></div>
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This ritual
is chosen for a lot of my weddings because: 1) Unless someone has seen a
wedding I performed with this ritual the guests will not have seen it. 2) It is
very romantic (and who wants romance in a wedding) 3) It gives the couple an
easy way to celebrate their anniversaries.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The ritual
text talks about the symbolism in relationship between the rose and the vase of
water, illustrated with quotes from great poets and philosophers. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Hand fasting</span></b></div>
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This ritual
is used in Christian, Wicca and Interfaith ceremonies. It is very similar to
the Lasso Ritual used in Mexican and Mexican American ceremonies. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hand Fasting</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The Bride
and the Groom have a rope (ribbon etc.) either placed around their shoulders or around their
hands as a symbol of their joining their lives. <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Sakkal Majalla";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the Celtic
-American Church (Christian NOT Wiccan) the primary reading for the hand fasting
is Ecclesiastes 4. 9-12. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Sakkal Majalla";">This is usually done right before
the vows and removed following the vows. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">God's Knot</span></b></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnQiWiBOjGfWysIi6vn72mBqwIfIVn-dlcvpL2mJmhaQT42T8g_euNKbpzjSB83PDgc_ZHhOSpsxVZ244PKOHUAkaZGXTOIm43-rWzZ9FBiDcILaqvsTiNOon8l6eASwE3O3rIYWIUrLOP/s1600/God's+Knot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnQiWiBOjGfWysIi6vn72mBqwIfIVn-dlcvpL2mJmhaQT42T8g_euNKbpzjSB83PDgc_ZHhOSpsxVZ244PKOHUAkaZGXTOIm43-rWzZ9FBiDcILaqvsTiNOon8l6eASwE3O3rIYWIUrLOP/s200/God's+Knot.jpg" width="181" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">God's Knot</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The God's
Knot is another version of hand fasting. In this version there are three cords,
each with a different color signifying the bride, the groom and Christ in the
marriage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Ring Warming</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
In ring
warming rituals the rings are passed from person to person among the wedding
party and family who pause as they hold the rings and add their best wishes for
strength in support of marriage. This can also be done with all the attendees
but it takes a lot more time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
While the
rings are passed you can use music or readings, or just some discussion of
marriage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Blessing of the
Hands</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is a
very pretty ritual that is done between the vows and ring vows. The bride and
groom hold hands and face each other as the text talks about their hands in
relation to all aspects of the couple's life together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Chocolate Ritual</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVSnMA4BG9u5MKmG_3mecg6am0uKK998xfYMo7hAT1Nzs9nuBtgHhvGTFM0cMpRK-0fM9BDkZ16kfC38_ooC2IRgqiX_DuWSQOP5BgKGs3nBqN_1wumA3RZtfPcif0oH1Smh-mUwSc36xK/s1600/Wedding+release.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVSnMA4BG9u5MKmG_3mecg6am0uKK998xfYMo7hAT1Nzs9nuBtgHhvGTFM0cMpRK-0fM9BDkZ16kfC38_ooC2IRgqiX_DuWSQOP5BgKGs3nBqN_1wumA3RZtfPcif0oH1Smh-mUwSc36xK/s1600/Wedding+release.jpg" /></a></div>
For
chocolate lovers everywhere, this ritual features the couple eating various
forms of chocolate as the celebrant relates the types of chocolate to various
aspects of marriage.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Stones Ritual</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
No this
ritual has nothing to do with Mick Jagger or Keith Richards though I suppose
Jumpin Jack Flash could be playing in the background while you went through the
ritual. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This ritual
is very similar to the sand ritual and can be used as a ritual to include the
couple's children. We start with bud vases, Two for bride and groom and if they
want to include their children, one for each child. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The rocks in
each vase are painted a different color. They are poured into a larger
container at the appropriate moment in the ritual. The ceremony can end two
ways. The first is the place the container of painted stones in the home. The
second is to have the family take the container to a body of water and cast the
stones into it after the ceremony.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Butterfly Release </span></b></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdOBAnB3l0rPoDu3IFO9j06HI8_l2OF2rzeT5npaQFTRDQBZ6Fucn2lzHDcCVX1Gb20roeooWJyr5PzJv6Dwb1fXujKBbPouZlxJRPjYYua8akQyoT75AekPTH5ghoUBb-pp8b-cAjDbgb/s1600/Butterfly+release.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdOBAnB3l0rPoDu3IFO9j06HI8_l2OF2rzeT5npaQFTRDQBZ6Fucn2lzHDcCVX1Gb20roeooWJyr5PzJv6Dwb1fXujKBbPouZlxJRPjYYua8akQyoT75AekPTH5ghoUBb-pp8b-cAjDbgb/s200/Butterfly+release.jpg" width="181" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Butterfly Release</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
A release of
butterflies is a ritual that can be done many ways. In Christian religious
ceremonies the text may talk about metamorphosis as it relates to the
resurrection of Christ. There are also butterfly rituals tied to American
Indian ceremonies. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can also be used
with a number of poems in non religious ceremonies. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
One of the
most beautiful ways I've seen it used in the weddings I have done is the
release of the butterflies after the pronouncement and kiss....they are
released during the reading of the benediction which relates the butterflies to
the newly married couple. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Wedding Circle</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the
wedding circle all the guests form a circle around the bride, groom and
minister and all the rituals, readings, vows etc take place while surrounded by
the circle of family, friends and guests.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Community Blessings
Benediction Ritual</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
During the
Benediction the minister relates ten blessings that he wants for the couple. As
s/he relates each blessing the assembled say "Amen" during the pause
between each one, adding their blessings to that of the celebrant.<br />
<br />
This is not a complete listing of rituals. There are many more to be found on the internet, but these are the most used.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf8NyKlCteRGuBdDseLh8BQpjYUDYd3lreilwFL5EQH1c6PaM8nkPlL_WsP2dnetAAWWLhqCcsOWx2dgeqrJnGb6cj1m2nLlMU9fbpTqHEL6wOtIwiDyp7k-8CRakMv4nVtxFpwB_imS0l/s1600/Charles+E.+Million.+blue+thick..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="90" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgf8NyKlCteRGuBdDseLh8BQpjYUDYd3lreilwFL5EQH1c6PaM8nkPlL_WsP2dnetAAWWLhqCcsOWx2dgeqrJnGb6cj1m2nLlMU9fbpTqHEL6wOtIwiDyp7k-8CRakMv4nVtxFpwB_imS0l/s320/Charles+E.+Million.+blue+thick..jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-9404433041644453042013-02-15T08:26:00.000-08:002013-02-15T08:26:11.447-08:00Ethnic and Rituals of Nationality or religious Origin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9OD-JJGdW5PjHwZXYajKal8bN5Kp4-4Al8B2vrwxrlJvqIJ2TCgV8Qc_VmbpehpcQQc5t9bUrl6Ty7p1EhZJDYcLDcqm-zwnW27Nr0r9lZUcQao-m4lPKigC3sCOSaGIhsWQWsTASnCS4/s1600/Rhoades2cccas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJz05DycrPlzPIjHuGh3p8vJ1WORz4PV3T0-1V9C_dNLFZXjdqy0h8JHxPgp8wZH8EfJks7HqIXeloRYAK4sXONQh7njLUR1OG0ahFxlwAhQgxkq2Hu_Bc5xjSl0103E3N6E8SPyWrfPZb/s1600/Black+Label+Photos+005as.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJz05DycrPlzPIjHuGh3p8vJ1WORz4PV3T0-1V9C_dNLFZXjdqy0h8JHxPgp8wZH8EfJks7HqIXeloRYAK4sXONQh7njLUR1OG0ahFxlwAhQgxkq2Hu_Bc5xjSl0103E3N6E8SPyWrfPZb/s200/Black+Label+Photos+005as.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: orange;">The Most Reverend Charles E. Million</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This week I want to review the Ethnic Rituals or Rituals that are peculiar to particular nationalities or religions. There is a lot of nice symbolism in these rituals. If you like one of them we can adapt them nicely into your ceremony, even if you are not from that particular nationality or ethnic group. I have covered many rituals that I am familiar with. There are many more to be discovered on the "net."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><u><b>African/American</b></u></span></span></h3>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: blue;">Jumping the Broom</span></span></h4>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgy6rG-DYs-ZTr4hejpFbDO24LunPL_hxK6b_osQM7XSI3O_O3rEnRrQLYkc8SK8Y6ttl6iOU3vw5s5AU-qWv_SppK2In2f-BzXCclVUkqq4Gd3yynp0h3LzIA8ugJpXb8OsbiMy3PM6TI/s1600/Jumping+the+Broom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgy6rG-DYs-ZTr4hejpFbDO24LunPL_hxK6b_osQM7XSI3O_O3rEnRrQLYkc8SK8Y6ttl6iOU3vw5s5AU-qWv_SppK2In2f-BzXCclVUkqq4Gd3yynp0h3LzIA8ugJpXb8OsbiMy3PM6TI/s200/Jumping+the+Broom.jpg" width="181" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">From the movie "Jumping the Boom"</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">An African-American tradition that has its roots in slavery times when slaves couldn't marry. Typically the family places the broom on the ground, and the bride and groom jump over it together. The broom can then decorate a place of honor in their home.<br /><br />In ancient days, the broom was the first thing brought into the home of a newlywed couple after bread and salt, and it was used to sweep their path so as to symbolize the sweeping away of obstacles. Newly wedded couples would jump over the broom for luck, fortune, fertility of family and lands, and also to show that they would accept the ordinary domestic tasks of the house together. </span></span></h4>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">This ritual can be done during the ceremony or at the reception.</span></span></span></span></h4>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><u>Native American</u></span></span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Indian Salt Ritual</span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> Indian weddings often include a salt
ceremony, where the bride passes a handful of salt to her groom without
spilling any. He then passes it back to her and the exchange is repeated three
times. She then performs the salt exchange with all the members of the groom's
family, symbolizing her blending in with her new family.</span></div>
<h3 class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
<u><span style="background-color: white;"> <span style="color: #674ea7;"><b>Hispanic</b></span></span></u></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Arras Ritual</span></b></span></span><u><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><b> </b></span></span></u></span></div>
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<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZkX298FgWGhDT_cIqs-cdWucCJ0A5pjaF7bk9XAI-t8jUv7baCBeXfBj4C8PFNdSzd86NBvZUm3N2RKe-a65bXXPHFpaQ1Rzb-PKViqksvOcpXBvAbDgki8TFmNAg80etEd3OIHjcONlA/s1600/Arras.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZkX298FgWGhDT_cIqs-cdWucCJ0A5pjaF7bk9XAI-t8jUv7baCBeXfBj4C8PFNdSzd86NBvZUm3N2RKe-a65bXXPHFpaQ1Rzb-PKViqksvOcpXBvAbDgki8TFmNAg80etEd3OIHjcONlA/s200/Arras.jpg" width="181" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;">The Arras Ritual is prevalent in Hispanic ceremonies. In this ritual the mother of the Groom steps up during the ceremony and gives 13 coins (sometimes this is specified as gold coins....pretty expensive at today's gold prices) to the Groom who in turn gives the 13 coins to the Bride, signifying that he places all of his goods into her care. The ritual is a symbol of his trust and confidence in her as his partner in life. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;">The coins represent fidelity and prosperity for the new couple. There are 13 coins to honor Jesus and his twelve disciples.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;">In another alternative to this ritual after the Groom gives the coins to the Bride she gives them back and then he gives her half in return. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;"><b><span style="color: blue;"> </span></b></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Lasso/Cord</span></b></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">This Hispanic Ritual is more common in Mexican and Filipino ceremonies. In this ritual a lasso or cord is placed, generally by relatives, on the shoulders (or around the wrists of couple) while we talk about the joining of the two on a shared path. Sometimes this lasso/cord is made up of rosaries which have been attached to each other. </span></span><b><span style="color: blue;"> </span></b></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: blue;"><b>Veil Ritual </b></span> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">In this ritual relatives place a veil over the couple pinned to the grooms right shoulder and the left side of the brides veil, covering both their heads. The veil symbolizes the faithful love that the couple has for each other.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><u>Norwegian/Italian</u></span></span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">A parade to the church led by musicians is a custom at Norwegian weddings. The custom of walking to the wedding is also a custom in some Italian weddings.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">In some Italian weddings the Bride and Groom break a vase, trying to reduce it to as many pieces as possible, as the number of pieces represent the number of years the couple will be happily married.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><u><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Persian</span></b></u></span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Although Persia (Iran) is currently a predominately Muslim country, their wedding customs date back pre-Islam to Zoroastrian times. Where the presentation of the Bride is common in American weddings, in a Persian wedding both families present their children for the ceremony. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span><b><u><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span></span></u></b>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6cGVivCkYArRUdiyOevKphGcf0O_GkUE79gsBWQBn-MNLWuK597WtH6_yurTJXdw-kZ82yoFPjaq_L3rX4VLmxmzDqZ_cIz_AMkO8fJVWqyDWl4dIxOvW4wDnRzli9hxc-2UVESEK_Eyd/s1600/Persian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6cGVivCkYArRUdiyOevKphGcf0O_GkUE79gsBWQBn-MNLWuK597WtH6_yurTJXdw-kZ82yoFPjaq_L3rX4VLmxmzDqZ_cIz_AMkO8fJVWqyDWl4dIxOvW4wDnRzli9hxc-2UVESEK_Eyd/s200/Persian.jpg" width="181" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Persian Wedding Ritual Sofreh Aghd</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h4>
<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sofreh Aghd<span id="goog_1828912235"></span><span id="goog_1828912236"></span></span></b></span>
</h4>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">During the ceremony, chairs are brought to the bride and groom by the best man and maid of honor and they sit facing the Sofreh Aghd (a banquet table set in front of a mirror.) A third chair is placed by the minister at the right side of the Sofreh Aghd and he sits. During the part of the ceremony a scarf is held over the heads of Bride and Groom. The groom's mother grinds (Kalleh Ghand crystallized sugar ) over their heads during the readings, to sweeten the couple's life.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">During the vows the bride is asked three times whether she takes the groom to be her husband. The first two times she says nothing and gifts are brought from the grooms family that she reviews before answering. It is only after she has been asked the third time that she responds. </span>
<br />
<h3>
<b><u><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Polish</span></span></u></b></h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> Bread, Wine and Coin </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">In this ritual the minister first gives the bride bread. She takes a bite and hands it to the groom who also takes a bite. The first part of this ritual symbolizes the wish that the couple never goes hungry. <br /><br />In the second part of the ritual the minister hands a chalice of wine to Bride . She takes a drink and passes the chalice to Groom, who also takes a drink. This is to symbolize the wish of all that the couple overcome the bitterness in life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">In the third part of the ritual the minister holds out a silver coin. Bride and Groom hold a silver coin between their right hands together to symbolize that they be wealthy and never be in financial distress.<br /><br />Groom puts silver coin into his pocket, as the ceremony proceeds.</span><br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><u><b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> Japanese</span></b></u></span></h3>
<h4>
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="background-color: white;">Sake-Sharing Ceremony</span></span></h4>
Most Japanese
also include a cultural sake-sharing tradition at the wedding, popularly
called <i>san-san-kudo</i> -- san means "three," ku means "to deliver,"
and do means "nine." This ritual dates back to a time when sharing sake
created a formal bond as strongly as a handshake did in Victorian
times. Using three flat sake cups stacked atop one another, the bride
and groom take three sips each from the cups. Then their parents also
take sips (for a total of nine sips), cementing the bond between the
families. <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><u>Jewish</u></span></span></h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Near the beginning of the ceremony the Bride and Groom sign the marriage contract or Ketubah.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="bodytext">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The wedding ceremony begins with a procession of the
wedding party members. At the wedding site, both sets of parents escort
the bride and groom down the aisle. The marriage ceremony is performed
under a special canopy, called a huppah, which represents God's
presence, shelter and protection. </span></div>
<div class="bodytext">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
</span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="bodytext">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">After exchanging wedding vows, seven marriage
blessings are read. The groom then steps on a wine glass, to symbolize
the fragility of human happiness, a hallmark of Jewish history. It is
also traditional for the bride and groom to be alone together for a few
moments immediately after the ceremony. This tradition, called yichud,
originated so that the marriage could be consummated, but now it is
observed as a lovely time to be together before the reception. There is
rarely, therefore, a receiving line at a Jewish wedding. </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><u><b><span style="color: #674ea7;">Summary</span></b></u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: black;">This is not a complete list of customs, there are many more to be found with some exploration. I haven't decided yet whether to continue next week with more ethnic traditions or to move on to other types of rituals. </span></span></span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><u><b><span style="color: #674ea7;"></span></b></u><br /></span></h3>
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Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-53777934616145644942013-02-07T13:16:00.002-08:002013-02-13T19:50:09.061-08:00The Joining Rituals<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #7030a0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The Joining Rituals</span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTH5Q0rXrS1RYa13aSlQUJzDlTYmGblX1lpxFB5gyejKMOKOEvv9-mwCygqql7x_GHeWkBpa97dqHpHWmBUhr0UgYIM0SATFK_jw-FWLNOkO3MN_mTKe0OpCrLQPCGJqfl6xICqWNlAgvb/s1600/Wedding.Ramirez.Congrats+Groom.+Unity.+Book022+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTH5Q0rXrS1RYa13aSlQUJzDlTYmGblX1lpxFB5gyejKMOKOEvv9-mwCygqql7x_GHeWkBpa97dqHpHWmBUhr0UgYIM0SATFK_jw-FWLNOkO3MN_mTKe0OpCrLQPCGJqfl6xICqWNlAgvb/s320/Wedding.Ramirez.Congrats+Groom.+Unity.+Book022+(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Groom gets congratulated. He is holding bound copy of text.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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This week
continues our discussion of wedding rituals with our exploration of what I
refer to as the Joining Rituals. These rituals symbolize the joining of two
lives on separate paths into one path, and generally appear early in the
service before the vows.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0033cc;">Unity Candle</span></u></b></div>
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The first of
the Joining Rituals is the Unity Candle, the most used ritual in weddings. A
staple in Catholic weddings it can be done several ways and the text varies a
little based on which way you pick. This is a very pretty ritual and text. My
only objection to this ritual is that it is used so much.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #ff9900;">The Basics</span></u></b></div>
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The basic ritual text talks about the
joining of the two lives and that the candles represent the divine light that
lives in us all. The Bride and Groom light their individual tapers from the
altar candles as I talk about how the candles represent them as individuals.
Then as I talk about the joining of their lives the Bride and Groom take their
taper candles and light the pillar candle.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Here there are two ways to go and vary
the text. IN the first way we leave the tapers burning and I talk about
maintaining your individual strengths. In the second way each of you blow out
the other's taper as I talk about the closing of each individual's life as they
embark on the shared path.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #ff9900;">Family</span></u></b></div>
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There are several ways of incorporating
family in the ritual<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #ff9900;"></span></u></b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjzBKoy2eFW4-M1dEW1gzBvgXO393r7WBeuWmNOkcBOKdVsDz3L2ki1dW5sNYB9QzWaVm_edlJ5sTE7Wid0rKDnjAA11zVk9jIpS4pZctgqVS3PmPoiWHN0so43dqTr3m1vTw7PjC4E2j/s1600/Wedding.Ramirez.3+w+BG+Unity_012+(2).ca.s.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjzBKoy2eFW4-M1dEW1gzBvgXO393r7WBeuWmNOkcBOKdVsDz3L2ki1dW5sNYB9QzWaVm_edlJ5sTE7Wid0rKDnjAA11zVk9jIpS4pZctgqVS3PmPoiWHN0so43dqTr3m1vTw7PjC4E2j/s320/Wedding.Ramirez.3+w+BG+Unity_012+(2).ca.s.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unity Candle Ritual</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<u>For couples without children</u> in
the Family Unity Candle Ritual the mothers step up to the altar and light the
altar candles right after they come down the aisle in the processional. Later
during the actual ritual the Bride and Groom light their tapers from the altar
candles which their mothers lit.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<u>For couples with children</u>, if
the children are old enough, you change the arrangement of candles. Instead of
two long tapers and one pillar you add smaller candles, one for each child.
Then the Bride and Groom and the children all put their candles in to light the
pillar candle. I can't stress enough that the children need to old enough and
mature enough to be included in the ritual.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #ff9900;">All Guests</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
This is an add-on to whichever Unity
Candle Ritual you choose from above. With this version you have small candles
on each seat at the ceremony. What seems to work pretty well and inexpensively
is to get some tapers and cut them into three inch candles. Take a cupcake
holder and cut a slit in it to slide the candle through. This keeps lit candle
wax from dropping on people's hands during this part of the ceremony.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
When it is time for the ritual the
ushers go from row to row lighting the candle held by the person sitting on the
aisle and they pass the flame to the next person and so on until the everyone
has a lit candle (I don't suggest this with small children.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
The text in this version talks about
how each lit candle signifies that the attendees support the path that the
Bride and Groom are about to take.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0033cc;">Sand Ritual</span></u></b></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ6r_dt2tzZ0OTedOjHd97_XSgGTkkzflQTMO7_a7wP7nU4HiRoqadicq8UyqvyR1IrVvd4g9j7l9sryqdohOjOci7LjgyMULSCHVMBG2FWzKrzQa-XEAcDaP1q85DvSbDvxvKDuwsoaY5/s1600/Day.Miller.TowerGrove,Sand+Ceremony.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ6r_dt2tzZ0OTedOjHd97_XSgGTkkzflQTMO7_a7wP7nU4HiRoqadicq8UyqvyR1IrVvd4g9j7l9sryqdohOjOci7LjgyMULSCHVMBG2FWzKrzQa-XEAcDaP1q85DvSbDvxvKDuwsoaY5/s200/Day.Miller.TowerGrove,Sand+Ceremony.jpg" width="133" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sand Ritual</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The Sand
Ritual is very visual and pretty. I've read that it is derived from a Native
American ritual but I can't confirm that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
In the Sand
Ritual the Bride and Groom have small glass containers each with a different
color sand. At the appropriate time in the ritual the couple pours the sand
into the larger container. The text in the ritual talks about how the fact that
you can still see the individual colors is symbolic of the couple being able to
maintain their individuality and the blended sand shows that their marriage
will be a blend of both their strengths.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #ff9900;">Family</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
This ritual can also be done to
incorporate the children if they are old enough. In the family version there
are three sizes of glass containers and each container has a different color of
sand. Text in this version talks about the strength that is brought by the
combination of all of the family members.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A quick note. Some companies sell a heart
shaped large container for this ritual that has a very narrow opening at the
top. I would avoid this product as the narrow opening makes it very difficult
for you to both pour the sand at the same time and still get it into the large
container.</i><br />
<br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span><span style="color: blue;"><u><b>Salt Ritual</b></u></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span><span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: black;">The Salt Ritual is essentially the same ritual as the Sand Ritual. This ritual was designed for folks who have issues with using the Sand Ritual because it supposedly comes to us from Native American ceremonies. The Salt Ritual is supposedly more Christian.</span><u><b> </b></u></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span></span></span><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0033cc;">Wine Ritual</span></u></b><span style="color: #0033cc;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is a
very pretty ritual both visually and in the text. Toasts have long been part of
the wedding traditions. With more and more weddings being done at wineries this
ritual has grown in popularity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have prepared on the altar two bottles of
wine, one red and one white and two glasses. It is hard to find a red wine and
a white wine that taste good when blended so I suggest you get two bottles of a
white wine and put red food coloring in one. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The text
talks about each glass of wine representing you as individuals. Each of you
pours a glass of wine for the other and we have a toast to the person that you
met, fell in love with and decided to marry. After the toast I ask each of you
to pour the other half of your glass into a chalice that I provide. Then the
two of you hold the chalice and drink of the blended wine with a toast to your
life together as husband and wife.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This ritual
stands on its own or can be combined with the Time Capsule below.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZCdeYcCJkiziJW03JFG-ORVCEmz4MsvgEvvFGVO2_W8vLYGqjgPAyadJLVH8j-XBwG6PBFLhcZsAVw1Gb-iDYCN7k8urARNWvQ_wgzp5aWauuMiiPfmLj3uvBmltcdOxxKw1y-nZA-zlP/s1600/Lowrey.Feltner1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZCdeYcCJkiziJW03JFG-ORVCEmz4MsvgEvvFGVO2_W8vLYGqjgPAyadJLVH8j-XBwG6PBFLhcZsAVw1Gb-iDYCN7k8urARNWvQ_wgzp5aWauuMiiPfmLj3uvBmltcdOxxKw1y-nZA-zlP/s320/Lowrey.Feltner1.jpg" width="193" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A kiss overlooking the Arch</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #ff9900;">Time Capsule</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
The Time Capsule can be tied in with
the Wine Ritual above if you desire. After the toasts we take the wine glasses
and put them in a box or other container along with a bottle of
"blush" wine. In advance I ask each of you to prepare a letter to the
other detailing a little about what lead you to this point, why you want to
marry this person and perhaps a little of your dreams for the future. I ask
that you not show these to each other. We put these letters into the time
capsule with the wine and glasses and seal it up to be opened on your 1 year,
five year or ten year anniversary.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
These are
the primary Joining Rituals. Next week we will talk about other possible
rituals for your ceremony.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Cordially,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Reverend
Million</div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-59361777333553332082013-01-31T12:15:00.002-08:002013-01-31T12:15:41.975-08:00Wedding Rituals...The preliminary ritual possibilities<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>Wedding
Rituals...The preliminary ritual possibilities</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlhPOzZjPDZ-9otfbqC-Fi1QZdAWBzY8gIRu0AZ44Q9M2Ch71mXCsUlOZAfTWmCFodh8PrEv_5AT6kqKjk6azOqjS_A2WaPh4g5Yh01qntJMndiM_mCej8VIWShJvP8V-9EfZXWqwOkdmk/s1600/Pruett.Ostertag+2cca..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlhPOzZjPDZ-9otfbqC-Fi1QZdAWBzY8gIRu0AZ44Q9M2Ch71mXCsUlOZAfTWmCFodh8PrEv_5AT6kqKjk6azOqjS_A2WaPh4g5Yh01qntJMndiM_mCej8VIWShJvP8V-9EfZXWqwOkdmk/s200/Pruett.Ostertag+2cca..jpg" width="129" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wedding at Graham Chapel</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This week
we're going to talk about wedding rituals. Rituals allow you to add beauty to
your wedding with rituals that symbolize the events of the day in a memorable
and meaningful way. There are rituals special to nationalities, ethnic groups
and more. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
There are
religious wedding rituals which we will not discuss this week. We'll
concentrate on the non religious rituals. There are a lot of rituals to cover
even if I only stick to the main ones so expect this to run over the next
couple of weeks</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
You can have
as many rituals as you want in the ceremony. I generally advise that two to
four should be your maximum, depending on which rituals we are talking about. You
have to be careful that too many rituals could lead to the three ring circus
effect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So let's get started.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #c00000; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Preliminary Possibilities</span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Presentation of
the Bride/Blessings of the Family. </span></b><span style="color: blue;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This ritual
is often referred to as "giving away the Bride," which denotes the
Bride as property. A more modern thinking on this ritual is that the Bride is
"presented" to the Groom by a family member denoting that the Groom
has the blessing of the family for the marriage. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This ritual starts with the Bride being
escorted down the aisle. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The most
traditional way this is generally done is the Bride being escorted by her
father. But I've done weddings where the bride was presented by:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Father and Stepfather </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3T_Zvgo5CkKChq4uIajB1-HeUpSHP_sjWKAeMz1LIUjq4qCVdWCM4cyBRTWUIdEuzgcuqGsbRTY4hDwIhm9Z1cKlJmHRHpSxRaS2UN2y2eMSrVX6F4JmCSBZc5ZfjFNNLcmtiYbXOs90G/s1600/Wedding.Ramirez.+3++BG+hand+hold._011+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3T_Zvgo5CkKChq4uIajB1-HeUpSHP_sjWKAeMz1LIUjq4qCVdWCM4cyBRTWUIdEuzgcuqGsbRTY4hDwIhm9Z1cKlJmHRHpSxRaS2UN2y2eMSrVX6F4JmCSBZc5ZfjFNNLcmtiYbXOs90G/s200/Wedding.Ramirez.+3++BG+hand+hold._011+%25282%2529.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wedding at Ameristar Casino</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Son</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mother</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3T_Zvgo5CkKChq4uIajB1-HeUpSHP_sjWKAeMz1LIUjq4qCVdWCM4cyBRTWUIdEuzgcuqGsbRTY4hDwIhm9Z1cKlJmHRHpSxRaS2UN2y2eMSrVX6F4JmCSBZc5ZfjFNNLcmtiYbXOs90G/s1600/Wedding.Ramirez.+3++BG+hand+hold._011+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mother and Son</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Stepfather</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Family Friend.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I've had the
traditional walking down the aisle the most but I've done weddings where Bride
and Presenter danced a simple step down the aisle, another did a dance routine
and surprised everyone including the Groom....grabbed and incorporated at the
end of their routing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
You can be
as traditional or creative as you want.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Honor and
Acknowledgements</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is
generally used to honor and acknowledge families. I can talk about families in
general or I can mention the names of your parents, grandparents.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I talk about
the family as foundation that led to where the two are you are today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
As an option
here you can have the Bride give the Groom's mom a flower and the Groom gives
the Bride's mom a flower.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_34eCVF63WuykzL2w1w5hp6RhnhrMLrnlfMHNxuCPDMwId7o4pdkVRTrbW-YfMAIcJhUJTlx9c8HzSlwArrIyU_cZAv17IDGqPQvzWs5PAsJSSxSoL8dWHMoip8i7tHlB-UL3H8q4ktQV/s1600/Wedding.Ramirez.+Full+Shot+of+Me.ca.003+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_34eCVF63WuykzL2w1w5hp6RhnhrMLrnlfMHNxuCPDMwId7o4pdkVRTrbW-YfMAIcJhUJTlx9c8HzSlwArrIyU_cZAv17IDGqPQvzWs5PAsJSSxSoL8dWHMoip8i7tHlB-UL3H8q4ktQV/s200/Wedding.Ramirez.+Full+Shot+of+Me.ca.003+(2).jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Another
option is to use this section to mention important folks that are deceased.
This can be done without bringing down the tone of the ceremony by a quick mentioning
their names and a) put a flower on the alter b)put a lighted candle the head
reception table c) put photos of the deceased at the reception hall on a table
set aside to honor family.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: blue;">Joining of
Families</span> </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
We use this
ritual as one of the ways to involve the children of the Bride or Groom in the
ceremony. The text with this ritual talks about the fact that the ceremony of
marriage involves more than just the Bride and Groom, that the marriage also is
about the children.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Next week we
will talk about the rituals that are symbolic of the two lives of Bride and
Groom embarking on a shared path.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The Unity
Candle, Sand Ritual and the Wine Ritual are just a few of these.</div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-83069014501613738172013-01-18T16:17:00.002-08:002013-01-18T16:17:58.413-08:00Pretty and Planned<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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You learn new lessons every week. Usually I write this blog
in Word then copy it to the blog for final tweaks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This week I decided to write it on the
blog....big mistake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got most of it
written and hit the wrong button and like magic it disappeared.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Last week I talked about the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0033cc; font-family: Broadway;">Short and Sweet</span></b>
wedding option for those folks who are looking for something quick and simple.
This week I want to talk about the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0033cc; font-family: Broadway;">Pretty and Planned</span></b>
option. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Before I get into that in more detail I want to say that the
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0033cc; font-family: Broadway;">Short and Sweet</span></b> wedding is pretty too. When we set up
Remembrance Weddings we made it our mission to provide our clients with a
ceremony that is Beautiful....Meaningful....and Memorable. For a long time we
only provided a full service wedding. But as we got more experience we learned
how to fulfill our mission for you in a shorter service.</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCVpnOV-v7YA2VB4n7cyNgZLJckAKZtTbv1k_HpiRnK6ujH-PabUC6b4cCiismqh8a_pp50EpNFhpJueUx5xqDQx85sfeQ837YG2VmMHXLirAybZhLdi8dspie26vZ4Olap4a7vLkchyphenhyphenMX/s1600/Anderson.Beard+Wed+006.cs..jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCVpnOV-v7YA2VB4n7cyNgZLJckAKZtTbv1k_HpiRnK6ujH-PabUC6b4cCiismqh8a_pp50EpNFhpJueUx5xqDQx85sfeQ837YG2VmMHXLirAybZhLdi8dspie26vZ4Olap4a7vLkchyphenhyphenMX/s1600/Anderson.Beard+Wed+006.cs..jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Catholic Wedding at Saint Stanislaus Catholic Church</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
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As we stated last week the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0033cc; font-family: Broadway;">Short and Sweet</span></b>
wedding is prewritten with limited options. If you tell us you want a non
religious wedding with a ring exchange you'll get a pretty, meaningful and
memorable wedding between 7-10 minutes long. It will be the same wedding that
the last couple who chose a non religious wedding with a ring exchange. It is a
far nicer wedding that you will get at the courthouse...but it is not custom
written for you.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0033cc; font-family: Broadway;">Pretty and Planned</span></b>
wedding option we work together to plan each step in your wedding. Whether you
have a vision of what you have in mind for your wedding ceremony or don't have
a clue as to what you want, you'll benefit from my 20 years experience of
marrying couples and seeing what works and what doesn't.</div>
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<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSvksOzUsp3d3GKGvL9z_6hL2bzUClnJmNQk3GX9eHftl_E01XPvpGRdLshbX83AG_YAehmsuv3OlX-5NtoL0edum_OTYTFC85LiT6u7qqtrNChXAVB9BTrWwy8hxf3yw4zClkIkf5V-dg/s1600/km_0797.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSvksOzUsp3d3GKGvL9z_6hL2bzUClnJmNQk3GX9eHftl_E01XPvpGRdLshbX83AG_YAehmsuv3OlX-5NtoL0edum_OTYTFC85LiT6u7qqtrNChXAVB9BTrWwy8hxf3yw4zClkIkf5V-dg/s320/km_0797.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wedding at the 9th Street Abbey</td></tr>
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Your wedding ends up reflecting who you are and what you
want family and guests to take away from your special day. Although we are
concentrating here on the actual ceremony we often provide couples with insights
on photography, wedding venues, gifts and a whole lot more.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We cover the basics with all their options about: The Procession....Who stands where?.... Is the bride to be "given away?.....Ring Bearers and flower girls (animals?); Tone of service, types of vows, Possible rituals to add. Types of readings, and all of the basic things. We also cover types of things you might not get elsewhere like multi-celebrant ceremonies, video streaming, translators and a whole lot more. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Usually we can do this in about a half hour and the majority of couples do it by phone. If you want to see I don't have a third eye in the middle of my forehead I also do the planning by Skype. I will meet with you in person if you prefer....but because it takes more of my time....this is an extra charge.</div>
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<br /></div>
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As always, if you have any questions or would like to talk with me about scheduling your special day please call me at 314-965-5648</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cordially,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Charles Million </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-75879942567504157792013-01-09T21:44:00.002-08:002013-01-10T09:52:49.171-08:00Short and Sweet Weddings<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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This week and next I want to talk about the types of
weddings that we offer at Remembrance Weddings. The first type we refer to as <span style="background-color: blue;"></span><span style="background-color: blue;"><span style="color: blue;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Broadway;">Short and Sweet</span></span></span>.<span style="background-color: white;"><span></span></span></span> The second type we refer
to as <span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Broadway;">Pretty and Planned.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp06mQygbuVNt9YMwMLvitFysKbc3M12TgMulR1Srz5tNPmIJqa-oyKcgt-_4afPkNGHUMmrg4C4NeK_73DFe1BuY5scUEagw0DJwlPORWV8QWpqm0h6ljigSttYs-xViMGlFOnqB-SScx/s1600/Day+Miller+Max+all+smiles.sc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp06mQygbuVNt9YMwMLvitFysKbc3M12TgMulR1Srz5tNPmIJqa-oyKcgt-_4afPkNGHUMmrg4C4NeK_73DFe1BuY5scUEagw0DJwlPORWV8QWpqm0h6ljigSttYs-xViMGlFOnqB-SScx/s200/Day+Miller+Max+all+smiles.sc.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wedding in Tower Grove Park</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pricing on the two types is directly related to the amount
of time that is required to prepare the wedding materials and perform the
wedding ceremony.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From previous blogs you may already know that it is my
personal belief that all couples deserve the <span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Broadway;">Pretty
and Planned</span> </span>wedding which usually runs between 20-30 minutes. My
reasoning is simple. Marriage is a significant event in anyone's life. To me,
the ceremony that goes with it should be significant as well....representing
the significant event that it is, and customized to reflect the bride and
groom. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But not everyone wants that kind of wedding. They don't have
the time, the patience, the money to have the Pretty and Planned Wedding. Or
they've been married before, are military getting shipped out, folks finalizing
immigration status....there are many reasons.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKG5TkzEYV_9t0u3zkhKzTUMiCX0JWQcWhz7NliyRpFX82gVsgbr0BeYJ245nCgAfOlw8ri2a8vJjnvZ6kaCxstFKyD8tuL1ZVRmGnBTjWPekxGQN-jQ5RjRwBD57dd1KAjoZaIEdRfAhT/s1600/Leadford.Ballard.3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKG5TkzEYV_9t0u3zkhKzTUMiCX0JWQcWhz7NliyRpFX82gVsgbr0BeYJ245nCgAfOlw8ri2a8vJjnvZ6kaCxstFKyD8tuL1ZVRmGnBTjWPekxGQN-jQ5RjRwBD57dd1KAjoZaIEdRfAhT/s320/Leadford.Ballard.3.jpg" width="272" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our <span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Broadway;">"Short and Sweet</span>"</span>
wedding is a better choice than a courthouse wedding for many folks. First of
all weddings at the courthouse are done once a week or once a month depending
on the county and are often backed up so you must wait to marry. But the
courthouse wedding is pretty basic and can feel like an assembly line process.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our <span style="font-family: Broadway;">"<span style="color: blue;">Short and
Sweet</span>"</span> wedding is a pretty 7 to 10 minute ceremony. It is
pre-written without any input from the bride and groom. We offer this ceremony
in both religious and non religious versions. The other choice for this wedding
is with ring exchange or without. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All you need is a Marriage License (from the state where the
ceremony will be held,) two witnesses and a couple of hours notice. We will do
this ceremony at the location of your choice or we can suggest locations. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We prepare for you, as part of our service, a personalized
bound copy of your wedding ceremony text and a color Certificate of Marriage. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We also refer to our <span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: Broadway;">Short
and Sweet</span></span> weddings as <span style="background-color: purple;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "Matura MT Script Capitals";">WedXpress</span></span></span>
</span>weddings and we have a whole website devoted to them. Click on this link to be
taken to <a href="http://www.wedxpress.com/" target="_blank">http://www.wedxpress.com/</a> WedXpress.com.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For more information on either a <span style="font-family: Broadway;"><span style="color: blue;">Short and Sweet</span>" </span>or<span style="font-family: Broadway;"> <span style="color: blue;">Pretty
and Planned</span> </span>ceremony call 314-965-5648.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cordially,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Charles Million</div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-15709951101780300472012-12-26T22:04:00.002-08:002012-12-26T23:19:49.072-08:00So you want to write your own vows?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<h4>
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-size: large;">So you want
to write your own vows?</span></span></h4>
</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigNFGSyWA6_3_SjjViQ2NEPmESlMrgM_TrXCblq15ksu-EfwJK2z_CnFa1KoYk51BwQXRg-mwDrawHehLsqwkO6OERi1JbEvVcfwaW64Cgi3fZZeGcHirGmXG51M06SGzGMLvuV5pPjHqk/s1600/Rhoades2ccca.whiteback.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigNFGSyWA6_3_SjjViQ2NEPmESlMrgM_TrXCblq15ksu-EfwJK2z_CnFa1KoYk51BwQXRg-mwDrawHehLsqwkO6OERi1JbEvVcfwaW64Cgi3fZZeGcHirGmXG51M06SGzGMLvuV5pPjHqk/s200/Rhoades2ccca.whiteback.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
One request
I get from couples in the <span style="color: purple;">Pretty<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and
Planned<span style="color: black;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">,</span></b></span> </span>twenty-five minute ceremonies is to write their own vows.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Something I
pinned on my Pinterest may be of reflection in this discussion.. I found this item just a few days
ago from bridalmusings.com. "these are some of the best wedding vows I've
ever heard of: his pledge to her: I will kill the spiders. I will share my
fries with you when you've finished all yours and are still hungry. I won't
ever pop my collar. I will never be rude to your tummy-when I har it growl and
gurge, I promise to bend down and reply respectfully. I will eat the mushrooms
when we order the supreme pizza. I will kiss the papercuts. and the
door-slammed finger. and the counter-bumped hip. I'll try my hardest no....
(Punctuation, spelling and lack of capitalization credited to bridalmusings.com)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="color: purple;"><b>Done
correctly writing your own vows </b>to each other gives you the opportunity to
tailor your vows to you as a couple, to what is really important to the two of
you.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2FMiG_XfAzv2U4c7wL1JvmZnvBpl3gpyrlzn6j5Gue_MdRO2yX6CUCEbLUnOAresWz9zMrndoO8wCjl7l5aADIXWiMqkCxkgrILu4BYhV9tJLuadYDvI8Ks7ymFMEhREBSJ_eN8ph-U7X/s1600/Ceremony+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2FMiG_XfAzv2U4c7wL1JvmZnvBpl3gpyrlzn6j5Gue_MdRO2yX6CUCEbLUnOAresWz9zMrndoO8wCjl7l5aADIXWiMqkCxkgrILu4BYhV9tJLuadYDvI8Ks7ymFMEhREBSJ_eN8ph-U7X/s200/Ceremony+Cover.jpg" width="158" /></a></div>
Now while
these vows are cute and sure to bring a smile or two in the guests, I have
trouble believing that these are the things that are really important to the
couple.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Definition</span></b></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="color: blue;"> <b>of VOW</b></span>: a solemn promise or assertion; specifically:
one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition . See <b>vow</b>
defined for English-language ...</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">www.<b>merriam-webster.com</b>/dictionary/vow</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
I've got no
problem with having some fun with the vows but my feeling is the nature of vows,
especially wedding vows should be a real reflection of what you are promising
each other.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
How often
does it happen? I've been marrying folks since I first became a minister 20
years ago. In that time I've had perhaps 120 couples say they wanted to write
their own vows. Perhaps 15 couples actually ended up writing their own vows,
and maybe six couples did it well. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
My advice to
those who want to write their own vows?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>First each of you give a little thought about the things that are 1)
important in your relationships 2) important to relationships over all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don't think too hard here, this is just a
starting point. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBXdrrDs1VUcQMR8pwo8WKpsFJx1rJRnanBNtAVsR-vdaTzabn_99fhHxmLlrp0KV_GUMS2gDKWJ5mN2oEo2sQvawOGdvJ0uA2I18wlBMF1IxpPZGZqSSeBErO3qha8ybwvavGuDkhVyO/s1600/P1010007.crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBXdrrDs1VUcQMR8pwo8WKpsFJx1rJRnanBNtAVsR-vdaTzabn_99fhHxmLlrp0KV_GUMS2gDKWJ5mN2oEo2sQvawOGdvJ0uA2I18wlBMF1IxpPZGZqSSeBErO3qha8ybwvavGuDkhVyO/s200/P1010007.crop.jpg" width="156" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>93.7 The Bull Shotgun Wedding</b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Next get on
the net and do a search for wedding vows and read through them together. Find
vows that express the important things you outlined in step one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pick a little from here and a little from
there if you need to.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
The step
after that is just putting them all together in a style that seems congruent
from start to end.<br />
<br />
Then if you are inclined to humor, you can mix some "fun" vows that express <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><i>who </i></span>you are and/or get a chuckle from the guests. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Last thing I
recommend is once you've got them all polished go to an office supply and get
two small journal notebooks about 3" x 4" in size, with lined pages. <br />
<br />
Write each vow on
a separate page and put your signature on the last page. At the service you
have an easy way to reference each vow as you declare them to each other.<br />
<br />
Once
each of you have said your vows you exchange journals as the physical symbol of
the vows exchanged. Then you hand them to me and I put them on the wedding
altar until the ceremony is completed.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue;">Your personal vows written to each other in the journals really do make a keepsake memory of your wedding to be kept and even read on your anniversaries from time to time. It's a lot of work but a beautiful way to make your wedding more truly <i>"all about the two of you." </i></span><i> </i></div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-19310872042111067432012-12-19T22:05:00.002-08:002012-12-19T22:06:58.843-08:00Set the Tone for your ceremony<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Up front I need to clarify that most of the topics in the
WedNewsDay blog are things that are important in planning the type of wedding
we call "Pretty and Planned." These generally are 25-30 minute
weddings that allow enough time to make the wedding personal to the couple.
This wedding is often accompanied by bridesmaids, groomsmen and guests. Choices
in this type of ceremony are almost endless but don't worry, we have 20 years
experience as the Premier St. Louis Wedding Officiants helping you make your ceremony "just what you want."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Personally I think everyone deserves a 25 minute wedding,
but I have learned that a fair number of folks really do want a wedding that is
"short and sweet." so we gladly provide them.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih_gbnO4j9BCwehAsV0yF67c0mEuXvMRK3rl7SnRXNW1grOO6pYV_QxewcCsa1oJ8830SP2BA8Iy2LXoWnMsXRhyphenhyphenukn7MS2NGSii5dNTLY2C5cdEbsM9NiemxGc1scphrJtKdTVBK2o1lW/s1600/km_0796.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih_gbnO4j9BCwehAsV0yF67c0mEuXvMRK3rl7SnRXNW1grOO6pYV_QxewcCsa1oJ8830SP2BA8Iy2LXoWnMsXRhyphenhyphenukn7MS2NGSii5dNTLY2C5cdEbsM9NiemxGc1scphrJtKdTVBK2o1lW/s320/km_0796.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Remembrance Weddings also does weddings we refer to as "Short
and Sweet," or our WedXpress services. These weddings are 7-10 minutes long, not enough time to do
much more than cover the basics. We do this with beautiful words but there
isn't enough time or frankly enough fee involved for a lot of customization.
These weddings are often just the couple and a few witnesses. Our short and
sweet weddings are not "courthouse weddings." Our words are pretty
and meaningful. Your choices in this service are limited 1. non religious or
religious<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2. With an exchange of rings
or without an exchange of rings.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This week I want to talk about setting the tone you want
your wedding to have. Again we are talking about the Pretty and Planned"
type ceremony.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Tone? What is he talking about tone? </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF2dj1YOQxkD0K299XwQ0Zd7fT_o0Iy92KpsIfviKQQ-etz_6DK_qyCDLndxsgQA_RV3URKxTvCO2Nqj7MPeIgiWJ08Ac54xOGRStO3YDLA-VKLqoekFC_p4W_zpg2KH5-hJ-BdLcsoStA/s1600/RW+Olinek.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF2dj1YOQxkD0K299XwQ0Zd7fT_o0Iy92KpsIfviKQQ-etz_6DK_qyCDLndxsgQA_RV3URKxTvCO2Nqj7MPeIgiWJ08Ac54xOGRStO3YDLA-VKLqoekFC_p4W_zpg2KH5-hJ-BdLcsoStA/s200/RW+Olinek.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Most weddings have pretty much the same tone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the past most weddings were religious and
governed by the policies of whichever church was celebrating. The tone was
SERIOUS. Today most wedding ceremonies are pretty traditional and serious.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Before I go further let me say I'm a big believer that a
wedding and marriage is one of life's significant events, and that <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your ceremony should reflect that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But a wedding can still be significant and have a tone other
than traditional. Weddings can also be very pretty, and memorable, even filled
with humor. We do them all the time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">So think about the tone that represents who the two of you
are as a couple. And we will gladly make it happen for you.</span></div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-26204648957864326262012-11-28T20:51:00.003-08:002012-11-28T20:53:38.388-08:00Use Music to Set Your Wedding Apart<!--[if !mso]>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Broadway; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Use Music to </span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Broadway; font-size: 28.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Set Your Wedding
Apart</span></b></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYjhLd-k1Lt73BNRZ6fzG-E6E1f-ZHlvf8QslxwWWcVqZ156B0aiEpdK3-MOryWp1i6z754x3DC4VE1D-RRXhZsVxWK0DmyQctnXIXLtx2Z5UdNz0fOFOGr0_oFzAiT4VamN1mGrErsASM/s1600/Rhoades2ccca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYjhLd-k1Lt73BNRZ6fzG-E6E1f-ZHlvf8QslxwWWcVqZ156B0aiEpdK3-MOryWp1i6z754x3DC4VE1D-RRXhZsVxWK0DmyQctnXIXLtx2Z5UdNz0fOFOGr0_oFzAiT4VamN1mGrErsASM/s200/Rhoades2ccca.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I'll admit I'm prejudiced....</span></b><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> I've been involved in music most all of my life.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For those who are interested in
making your wedding stand out. Music can represent who you are as individuals
and as a couple. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Most folks go with pretty traditional
music. Same tunes at the same times. Those who add a little more include a
singer or some strings. Same songs ....bigger budget. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">For most of us (again I'm prejudiced,)
music is the soundtrack of our lives. We identify with some tunes as a couple
and many as individuals. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Using your own soundtrack you can
customize your wedding music in a lot of different ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Add a mix of traditional and the music that
reflects the mood you want to create, the jubilation that you feel, "your
songs" as a couple or however you want. Use your dj, musicians or a
capella singers to perform your music plan. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This doesn't have to be expensive.
Most folks know some singers and musicians that could be pressed into service. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Listen to the words of modern songs
just to make sure they reflect what you are looking for not just the feel. Need
an example? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had a couple who used
traditional music throughout the ceremony. After I pronounced them husband and
wife I introduced them to the attendees. Quietly building as they stood for the
applause, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">" I thought love was only
true in fairy tales, for someone else but not for me. Love was out to get me
(heh, heh, heh, heh....that's the way it seemed.</i> </span><i>Disappointment
haunted All my dreams.</i><br />
<i></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qv28SMQq6tCnrIdbbuWMwHR8lYLgqjHFKdYfDX4CP5tzGSDrSFJ7Bqo0kGITUFzqjAI4TOxVpyAomZn7CoWwi3ATY8V2MRCgCI021fTHsQ_zupBGkXDWL8WnFYHtY3ekM2XgoDTW0HcS/s1600/Lowrey.Feltner4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-qv28SMQq6tCnrIdbbuWMwHR8lYLgqjHFKdYfDX4CP5tzGSDrSFJ7Bqo0kGITUFzqjAI4TOxVpyAomZn7CoWwi3ATY8V2MRCgCI021fTHsQ_zupBGkXDWL8WnFYHtY3ekM2XgoDTW0HcS/s200/Lowrey.Feltner4.jpg" width="189" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXXwY-mHhdxf7PBW8rDQvF5B9YlX4w5PFgEE-FinLdxp5SjXrWja1OtoLTb5WJ3DwBB4n8x9GTX1P26Wyu690zjqGCZ7_XKyWUgnohroouZIUan7MZphrd63_3zAhk0C66Xf-NAXIuhrGm/s1600/Ramirez+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXXwY-mHhdxf7PBW8rDQvF5B9YlX4w5PFgEE-FinLdxp5SjXrWja1OtoLTb5WJ3DwBB4n8x9GTX1P26Wyu690zjqGCZ7_XKyWUgnohroouZIUan7MZphrd63_3zAhk0C66Xf-NAXIuhrGm/s200/Ramirez+2.jpg" width="200" /></a><i><br />
And then I saw her face<br />
Now I'm a believer<br />
Not a trace<br />
Of doubt in my mind<br />
I'm in love<br />
I'm a believer<br />
I couldn't leave her<br />
If I tried<br /><br />
I thought love was</i>
<i><br />
More or less a given thing<br />
The more I gave the less<br />
I got, oh yeah<br />
What's the use in trying<br />
All you get is pain<br />
When I wanted sunshine<br />
I got rain<br /><br />
And then I saw her face</i>
<i><br />
Now I'm a believer<br />
Not a trace<br />
Of doubt in my mind<br />
I'm in love<br />
I'm a believer<br />
I couldn't leave her<br />
If I tried</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Surprise
then smiles....and a memory everyone at the wedding will remember every time
they hear the song.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Want your wedding to stand out? Have a music plan.</span></b></div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-47046997599905321782012-10-24T21:03:00.000-07:002012-10-24T21:08:43.573-07:00Ecology Friendly Wedding Favors<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLHYVyBqKmuTDVoqOog5k5xuphILyxqhCeRJVTqHmE9uXgCX6rsiHdNe_OJpJFiIFhMCpn7UYPYXyzbZ5fpGrpwTIWrgjWEaoXJ47jlk96b56JlnnHLMGh5iuKuCWv5z4kySztyQv1LF9s/s1600/Wedding+trees.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLHYVyBqKmuTDVoqOog5k5xuphILyxqhCeRJVTqHmE9uXgCX6rsiHdNe_OJpJFiIFhMCpn7UYPYXyzbZ5fpGrpwTIWrgjWEaoXJ47jlk96b56JlnnHLMGh5iuKuCWv5z4kySztyQv1LF9s/s320/Wedding+trees.jpg" width="320" /></a></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
<span style="color: #38761d;"><b>Here is an earth friendly wedding practice I'd like to
encourage and spread to others. I think it is definitely an idea that should be
promoted.</b></span></h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I recently officiated a wedding (I also was a guest) where
the couple was environmentally conscious. As the centerpiece on all the
reception tables amongst the ribbons, flowers, and baubles were glass
containers with tiny evergreen trees. There was a tree for each guest that sat
at the table. The centerpieces were gorgeous, befitting the beauty of the
wedding itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5AGunLBtFq42UDZ9kggUcJsoiqTh8ml82kd93jvwctGtdjZUTBN5DB-EZJ9WdkUcGQQ6lmPjcS8N8SyglKBuGHvhmvugkap-cjfhPeV5eRLmFVi6J2BsBp0HaY-ozpnLIohYoUle_dxe1/s1600/50-Tree-Seedlings-by-the-Bunch-5321.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5AGunLBtFq42UDZ9kggUcJsoiqTh8ml82kd93jvwctGtdjZUTBN5DB-EZJ9WdkUcGQQ6lmPjcS8N8SyglKBuGHvhmvugkap-cjfhPeV5eRLmFVi6J2BsBp0HaY-ozpnLIohYoUle_dxe1/s320/50-Tree-Seedlings-by-the-Bunch-5321.jpg" width="226" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a card at each place at the table. <i>"Thank you
for being part of our wedding. We will remember this special day as long as we
live, and we would like you to be able to remember our day too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please accept as our wedding gift to you one
of the trees in the glass containers which are part of your table centerpiece. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Please take it home and plant it in an appropriate spot,
give it water as it settles in, then watch it grow. Five, ten, fifty years from
now you can look at the giant tree it has become and remember that you got it
at our wedding. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>We hope you will enjoy our gift to you. We know the earth
will benefit from the planting</i>."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There were Yugo Pines, cypress, white pines, fir trees<i><b>, </b></i>junipers and
more, a very nice selection. Each guest could select which tree they wanted to
take home and plant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If the tree type you wanted had already been selected you
could trade with others or pick one that was left on another table.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a nice wedding guest gift. Ten, fifteen and twenty
years from that special day guests who took home a tree and planted it will
still remember where it came from.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I checked on line (Googled <i>live tree wedding favors</i>) and
came up with some sources.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Prices start at $1.25 and go up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sources of Trees:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMCELzy8sjVfpNxEjuBKXvRqPi8ME06Adi5rwz8MeMG_4bQ-fMufsx-jnKGStFYxJ2A2gEOUBXAWAQmwDL1G8u23oHngnMKwS2jxDg28ceC5BwfQiZ_bby2eiB8m1T-jW22yIlfyDNsudf/s1600/tree-seedling-in-a-box-decorative-presentation2311137.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMCELzy8sjVfpNxEjuBKXvRqPi8ME06Adi5rwz8MeMG_4bQ-fMufsx-jnKGStFYxJ2A2gEOUBXAWAQmwDL1G8u23oHngnMKwS2jxDg28ceC5BwfQiZ_bby2eiB8m1T-jW22yIlfyDNsudf/s200/tree-seedling-in-a-box-decorative-presentation2311137.jpg" width="183" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.greenworldproject.net/wedding.php">http://www.greenworldproject.net/wedding.php</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.arborday.org/Shopping/GiftTrees/weddings.cfm">http://www.arborday.org/Shopping/GiftTrees/weddings.cfm</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.themagnoliacompany.com/seeds/wedding/weddings-products.html">http://www.themagnoliacompany.com/seeds/wedding/weddings-products.html</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.naturesgiftsandmore.com/tree-seedling-wedding-favors.html">http://www.naturesgiftsandmore.com/tree-seedling-wedding-favors.html</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<h2>
<b><i> </i></b></h2>
<h2>
<span style="color: #38761d;"><b><i>If we could do this at every wedding we could reforest the
earth.</i></b></span></h2>
</div>
Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-18806267027577145762012-10-17T22:11:00.003-07:002012-10-18T06:05:51.047-07:00How to Fight Fair <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How to Fight Fair . Courtesy, Compromise and <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Common Sense in Conflict</span></u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: #990000;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It's so logical....why is it so hard to do</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivNygYqLUrfOszSqQTLlEsF2rfaJUPEwcH0IADcVNw0SsA3RGmz4M9gnka1ioRSSakg8RrukuE3BBjXpJDipvTNAjPiJeLMBINDR8tan7heUmzHvEfsbR1tSL0wNGFZdPGxzS4DzOzs2av/s1600/Angry+couple+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivNygYqLUrfOszSqQTLlEsF2rfaJUPEwcH0IADcVNw0SsA3RGmz4M9gnka1ioRSSakg8RrukuE3BBjXpJDipvTNAjPiJeLMBINDR8tan7heUmzHvEfsbR1tSL0wNGFZdPGxzS4DzOzs2av/s200/Angry+couple+2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Because
nobody taught you how. Not just you....really, who do you know that has taken
conflict training. Almost nobody has. That compounds the problem. Not only has
nobody taught you....guess what? Your spouse hasn't been trained either.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This topic
that has been written about many times and will many times more. The trick is
to disagree (argue, fight) to resolve the quarrel without damaging the
relationship. This week's blog is a compilation of principles taken from a
seminar I did with Dr. Harry Bradley, psychologist and new material I have
pulled from articles found in my additional research.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When you
don't fight fair you add to the baggage that you carry around with you about your partner and how you feel about the
relationship. And as I am fond of saying....eventually there is too much
baggage to be made into matched luggage. When you don't end up with matched
luggage it leads to separation and divorce.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<h3 class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Anger is our enemy. </span></u></b></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghD4X49LfG1gZZ2C4scNJGIdsYK_FJQaiMLzKZhtC3kyIpOHNfPJRlnLO54uf8L_KAcbmBRBQijM3AS9WGg27UzGPptujlb-C6QgN4sxWaoowcAH7LZW1vZh0Uw-njFnqfP7CDZclnvXjK/s1600/Angry+couple+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghD4X49LfG1gZZ2C4scNJGIdsYK_FJQaiMLzKZhtC3kyIpOHNfPJRlnLO54uf8L_KAcbmBRBQijM3AS9WGg27UzGPptujlb-C6QgN4sxWaoowcAH7LZW1vZh0Uw-njFnqfP7CDZclnvXjK/s1600/Angry+couple+1.jpg" /></a><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Terrible
words spew out of our mouths and our "winner takes all" attitude
takes over. Often it causes us to be our relationships own worst enemy.
Remember you can win the argument and over time lose the war (marriage.)
Terrible words once said, may be forgiven because of your love....but it will
never be forgotten.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Every Fight Has A Goal</span></u></b></h3>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If it's worth fighting about have a
goal on what will happen at the end. Think about what you want to gain with the
argument. Know where you want the conversation to go. Get an idea what you are
willing to comprise. Focus on what will make the issue not an issue or solve
the problem. Concentrate on a win approach for both of you. </span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">State the issue.</span></u></b></h3>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></u></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No "You " statements.</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">
</span></i></h3>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Be clear
as to exactly what the fight is about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stop. Let's look at that again. Be clear as to exactly what the fight is
about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop. Again avoid "You did
this." Express the problem in terms of how the actions made you feel. You
are on firm ground when you talk about how you feel. You only make them
defensive when you talk about what "they did."</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></u></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Watch Your Language</span></u></b></h3>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Avoid
following with character assassination, your amateur psychology insights, your
psychic knowledge of what they were thinking have no place in fighting fair.
Those types of statements are controlling, presumptuous and very damaging to
your relationship's future.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Keep the argument on topic</span></u></b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span></h3>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The problems that define the fight are best
not put out there as you did this" statements </span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Put
things in terms of how whatever happened....How does it make you feel?</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can't
say this enough. Keep talking about what the fight is about. Avoid tearing down
your partner personally</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Listen don't plan</span></u></b></h3>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Listen
carefully to what your partner is saying without interrupting or thinking about
what you are going to say. Show the other person you are paying attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One word notes only if you are taking notes.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At the
conclusion of their statement, repeat back to them what they said as you heard
it. Use their words when you can to make them understand you heard them.
"If I heard you correctly, you said ."</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Keep Down the Volume and Speed</span></u></b></h3>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When we're
angry we tend to get louder and faster in our communication. Our heart rate
gets up and so does our spouse....it's an automatic reaction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Screaming at each other almost unintelligibly
isn't a relationship building activity. Honest. No matter what you saw your
parents do. </span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When you
find yourself or your partner being too loud....stop and slow the pace and
volume down they will follow. It's almost as automatic.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Don't keep going back to old
issues and old hurts.</span></u></b></h3>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Most everybody has a tough time staying with the current fight. If you
manage to avoid attacking your partner with character assassinations on them
personality it's half the battle?</span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The other half that trips most couples up is bringing up old issues and
old hurts and inserting them into the current argument. You really can't fix
what happened before that didn't get fixed. Concentrate on the here and now.
Something you can get fixed.</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Everybody Gets Equal Time</span></u></b></h3>
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<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">Just like the Presidential
Debates, everybody gets a turn to speak without interruption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very important. Without Interruption. See </span><b><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Listen
Not Plan</span></b><b><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;"> </span></b><span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-themecolor: text1;">above</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">.... Now
we have <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0099ff;">Listen
Not Plan or Interrupt.</span></b><br />
<br />
</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Save the Anger for Big Stuff</span></u></b></h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpXpOqaUjtZwGGp3FdST-Wx1mJCKmbd60g70xjQby74yA9ST3JlHejxDHB9P60bX7fuVAXb4oXO_uhB0d20smMWrVGL3GvhTUPlKWTrwQ6x7Bs7nhW2SimPIxP3V7BAsI-rjOilEth8wlA/s1600/Angry+couple+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpXpOqaUjtZwGGp3FdST-Wx1mJCKmbd60g70xjQby74yA9ST3JlHejxDHB9P60bX7fuVAXb4oXO_uhB0d20smMWrVGL3GvhTUPlKWTrwQ6x7Bs7nhW2SimPIxP3V7BAsI-rjOilEth8wlA/s1600/Angry+couple+3.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Not every issue deserves equal anger. Lots of
things can be confronted and resolved without being in Maximum Anger Mode.</span></b><br />
</div>
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<b><span style="font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Lose the desire to deliver ultimatums and
vent your anger. </span></b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No physical or emotional abuse</span></u></b></h3>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
shouldn't have to include this....it's just not permissible and obvious, but will be critiqued if I don't.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="color: #0099ff; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sometimes its good to take a
break</span></u></b></h3>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Sometimes
things get heated and nobody is budging and bad habits of arguing are begining
to take over the argument. Take a break.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Give your
mind AND your body a chance to slow down.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Take the
time to think about the other person's viewpoint and think of possible ways
including compromise to solve the issue.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How long.
If you have to take a break then break for at least a half hour. It's best
though if you don't wait too long. I think 24 hours more or less is as long as
I would put off trying to come to a solution.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span>Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1353338653195189341.post-29848285780288855452012-10-10T20:21:00.003-07:002012-10-14T18:12:03.541-07:00Last Minute Cancelling Ministers and wedding contractsIn the last few weeks I have received a lot of calls from folks needing to find someone to officiate their wedding at the last minute.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNeLbNLfTXl18BJzphT8AWaoC256bAFsZXHjrL0f-4tL5vTxjUN1hyphenhyphenYLazJeFbsl-Kw2wXAJlv9ZInyMb3iXaWKbXfuOhy5KGEsNJIInqXDpycoeJNXLDEtNJEeJV2vPy7TfFGYSf_x9GP/s1600/parker.plenge.couple+and+me.a.+-+Copy+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNeLbNLfTXl18BJzphT8AWaoC256bAFsZXHjrL0f-4tL5vTxjUN1hyphenhyphenYLazJeFbsl-Kw2wXAJlv9ZInyMb3iXaWKbXfuOhy5KGEsNJIInqXDpycoeJNXLDEtNJEeJV2vPy7TfFGYSf_x9GP/s320/parker.plenge.couple+and+me.a.+-+Copy+(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
The reason. The minister had cancelled. I was horrified, so I attempted to find out what had happened. In most instances the couple had gotten a friend or family member (most ordained on the net) to do the wedding to save money, or because they volunteered. Then at the last minute they cancelled. They had to work at their real job, had to travel for their real job. Or, there mother was sick in another city or (enter any number of excuses here.)<br />
<br />
I'm going to give you a personal opinion here. <br />
<br />
First, the cost of the officiate is one of the smallest costs of most weddings. During the wedding all eyes will be on three people....the bride....the groom....and the officiate. Why anyone would put an amateur in this important position to save a little money is beyond me.<br />
<br />
A wedding is an event that marks one of the most significant moments in the life of a couple, Why would you give the job of creating a performing that ceremony to someone not experienced at planning and officiating weddings? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghSerA5336LxG8eB18bmN2e1q8fMcun0zk4LSUNHuY6hq-HDbWVMtO_IpKbRaPr9-wSPnaP_5hRBjzuwA4tvXrUgZjZF-bDNH2fm5wPvkhptb4zdtnyIgu3Doo07ety0tvagYYzabemoQP/s1600/OBryans.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghSerA5336LxG8eB18bmN2e1q8fMcun0zk4LSUNHuY6hq-HDbWVMtO_IpKbRaPr9-wSPnaP_5hRBjzuwA4tvXrUgZjZF-bDNH2fm5wPvkhptb4zdtnyIgu3Doo07ety0tvagYYzabemoQP/s320/OBryans.bmp" width="216" /></a></div>
Some one told me that theirs wasn't a money issue, they chose a friend because they wanted to be able to do the ceremony "their way." There are many professional wedding officiates that will let you plan your wedding just the way you want it. And, if they are experienced they have the knowledge to avoid the pitfalls that others have when planning their wedding with someone who doesn't know what works and what doesn't.<br />
<br />
Another issue to consider with an amateur. In the last several years a Pennsylvania couple got married using a friend who got ordained on the net so he could be their wedding officiate. Sadly the marriage didn't work and in the divorce one party argued that the marriage was not valid at all, as the friend officiate "wasn't really a minister.." <br />
<br />
A few of the cancelling ministers were from wedding companies. I started to write professional wedding companies, but obviously these folks were not very professional .<br />
<br />
A professional will give you a contract. And that means they will show up for your wedding. And if they become ill or have some other issue, the professional will always have a backup plan.<br />
<br />
Since 1993 we have never cancelled or missed a wedding date. And we have four available ministers, so if one of us is ill, we have backup. <br />
<br />
Doesn't that all sound like a better idea that asking an amateur or a less professional wedding ministers?<br />
<br />
<br />
That's all for this week. Rev Charles "Max" E. Million D.D.,D.M.., PDM, RHy., T.Thhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09099611096840313734noreply@blogger.com0