a service of the Spiritual
Growth Fellowship
a church of The Sovereign Holy Order of Saint
Raphael
Our
Mission:
Romantic Personal Wedding Ceremonies You’ll Remember Forever
Beautiful,
Meaningful & Memorable
The Most Reverend Doctor Charles E. Million,
D.D.
13001 Dieterle Lane Saint Louis, MO 63127
Phone: 314-965-5648 Toll Free: 888-521-8146
Cell:
314-503-4727 Fax: 314-984-0828
Let's start part two of Questions and Answers to Help
The Officiate with a quick review of Part One.
So far we've given the officiate all your contact
information, the location, day and time of the ceremony and if there is a
rehearsal, it's day, time and location.
We've let the officiate know the ages of the couple
and whether it's their first marriage or they have been married before. Why is this important? It is my
philosophy (as I mentioned in part one) that weddings should not be "one
size fits all." So the message and tone of a wedding for a twenty something couple both getting
married for the first time is a different message and ceremony than I would
write for a couple in their 40's who have been married before and have grown
kids.
We have determined the style of the ceremony
Traditional Religious, Non Denominational Religious, Spiritual (A non religious
ceremony with quotes from poets, philosophers and great writers,) Civil (Secular,). Blended (a service that is a
blend of two of the above. Other
officiates may call them something else.
Last thing we covered in part one was the overall tone
of the service. The feel of any of the styles listed above can be varied by
tone selected.
There are exceptions but I recommend that ceremonies
last about 25 minutes. Longer than this and people get fidgety. Much shorter
than 25 minutes the ceremony doesn't
seem significant to the life event that
is a marriage.
21. Is 25 minutes acceptable time for you?
____Yes ____ No ___________________________________________
22. Do either the
bride or groom have children from a previous relationship? ______ If Yes, are they attending?
23. Do you want
to include a "Blending of Families" ritual to include the children in
the service? _______________
If
so, what are the names of the children and who is the parent? ________________________________________________________________________________________
24. Are the
children playing any other part in the ceremony? If so, what?
___________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
25. Do you wish
to honor and acknowledge anyone in the text of service? People often honor
their parents or grandparents or someone significant in your life, perhaps
someone who introduced you? ________ If
so ,
Name
Relationship / Reason to
Honor
Alive/ Deceased
Example Name___________
_Introduced us__ ____Alive____________
_____________________ ______________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
26. Do you also
want to honor the mothers (alive) with
presentation of flower? ______________________________
27. Of those
listed above for Honor and Acknowledgement who are deceased:
_____Mention
only ______ Flower on empty chair
______flower on table/altar _____ photo on table/empty seat. ______ Candle on table/altar ______ Candle at reception /head table
_______ Other
__________________________________________________________________________________________
28. Will there be an exchange of
rings? _______ 29.Will both of you be exchanging rings? _______
30 There
are two different TYPES of vows. The
traditional way is to have vows and then ring vows. Some people prefer to
combine the vows and ring vows into one. Which do you prefer? ________________________
31. There
are three different ways to do the vows.
The first way is to write
your own vows to each other. This sounds great but is harder than you think.
Over the years ahead media hundred couples tell me that they were going to
write their own, only four have actually
done it.
The
second type is where I say everything and you guys just say I do. Some people
like this because they are afraid they'll mess up the vows it's really nothing
to fear but some people do
The third
type of vows is where I say the vow is in small phrases and you repeat them. This
is the prettiest type and there is nothing to fear as we are the only ones that
know what you're supposed to say.
Which
type of the vows would you prefer? _____Write Own _______ "I do" only
_____Repeat vows
What tone
would you like the vows to have?
_____Traditional and Serious
_____ Religious Vows _____
_____ Pretty and Meaningful
32.
Special Touches. These rituals provide beauty, symbolism , your own
personal style and/or tradition (ethic, religious, or family.) You can add as many as you want, but we
recommend using no more than two, one before and one after the vows. There are
many to choose from, only a portion are listed here.
These
descriptions are basic. It is better to discuss these, but we will try to
describe the ones listed as best we can. Feel free to contact us for more
descriptions and discussion of these special additions.
____The Unity Candle. Bride and groom take two individual candles
and light a center, larger candle symbolizing the joining of two individuals
into one life. This can be done as a one step where bride and groom
individually light the smaller taper candles then together light the bigger one,
generally a pillar candle. As an alternative, the two step Unity candle ritual the
mothers light the altar candles after they come down the aisle at the beginning
of the service. The bride and groom light their individual tapers from those
candles and light the large prior to the vows.
____Sand Ritual - Similar to Unity
Candle. There are two smaller glass containers each with
a different color sand that are poured into a larger container. This is very
visual and if the large container can be capped it provides a keepsake of your
wedding.
____Wine Ritual- (Can be done with
grape juice for non drinkers) We have two bottles of wine, one red and one
white. Bride pours for groom and groom pours for bride. They drink a toast to
the person they met and fell in love with. Remainder of each glass is poured
into a center chalice. The couple holds the chalice and they drink a toast to
the coming life together in marriage. This is a very pretty ritual. The Ritual
can end here or can be combined with the Time Capsule.
____Time Capsule. In advance a wooden box
is prepared that will hold a bottle of blush wine and the two glasses used in
the wine ritual. The couple writes letters to each other of what attracted them
to each other, why they decided to marry and their hopes and dreams. They do
not show the letters to each other but put them in envelopes. During the
ceremony the box is closed with the letters, wine glasses and bottle of wine.
On their ten year anniversary the couple opens the box, drinks the wine and
read the letters to each other.
____ Ethnic Rituals. If you come from
an ethnic group that has marriage rituals (e.g. Hispanic, Irish, Polish,
African-American, Jewish ) include those here.
__________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
____Other Rituals. If there are other
rituals that you know of that you would like to include please note them here
____
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
____Rose Ritual. This is a very pretty
ritual. It is popular among couples that I marry because:
1. It is very pretty and
romantic
2. If the guests have not
been to a wedding I have officiated it will be new to them as I wrote most of
this ritual myself.
3. It gives the couple
something easy to do on their anniversary to say "I still love you."
The ritual
involves the groom giving the bride a single rose and the bride giving the
groom a vase of water. I discuss the symbolism.
33. If you
would like to include some text about how you met, personal details of your
relationship to include. note it here_____________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
34. Any
other information you would like to include in the text
_______________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
35. Will any
guests , family members, or hired performers be playing music, singing, doing a
reading or otherwise taking part in the ceremony? ________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
36. Are you
interested in other services? Note: Most officiate services do not offer these.
Translator: Do you need someone to translate the service
into another language during the ceremony? Do you want to provide an
interpreter for the hearing impaired?
Streaming
Video: Would you like the entire service to be seen in real time by those who
can't attend? This can be a wonderful addition to the service. As an
example....perhaps a relative (in this case let's say the Father of the Groom)
who can't attend because they are hospitalized who would otherwise be forced to
miss the event, can watch it as it actually happens.
2 minister
wedding: A beautiful touch is to have more than one minister perform the
ceremony. Sometimes the combination of a male and female minister is just the
right touch.
36. Counseling and Testing. Are you
interested in testing and counseling to improve your chances for a successful
marriage? We will talk about this service in the blog in the near future.
This is not a requirement for us
to perform your wedding ceremony. But we recommend marital
counseling to all our clients….even if you choose to get it elsewhere.
37. Do you have Need for a PA?
38. Music Do you want assistance in
picking the music, musicians, play the music?
Every officiate puts together the
information in a different way. If you follow the guidelines noted here you
will be prepared to meet with the officiate, no matter how they put the
information together for your ceremony.
Don't hesitate to contact me if you
have questions.
Charles Million
This post originally was in my other blog on life, love and the music business
