Wednesday, September 26, 2012

How long should a wedding ceremony be?




REMEMBRANCE WEDDINGS


a service of the Spiritual Growth Fellowship
a  church of The Sovereign Holy Order of Saint Raphael

Our Mission:
Romantic Personal Wedding Ceremonies You’ll Remember Forever
Beautiful, Meaningful & Memorable

The Most Reverend Doctor Charles E. Million, D.D.
13001 Dieterle Lane Saint Louis, MO 63127

 Phone: 314-965-5648 Toll Free: 888-521-8146 Cell: 314-503-4727 Fax: 314-984-0828



How long should a wedding ceremony be?


This has been a tough one to write, much tougher than I expected. So I guess I should say that this is all personal opinion.  Everyone has a different perspective as to the significance of marriage, the ceremony et al.

Most states have few requirements as to what a ceremony is or should be. So it really is up to you. If you want the ceremony to be:
 "Sally you want to marry Bill?"
 "Yes"
"  Bill do you want to marry Sally?"
 " Yes."
 " Ok you're married, let's party."

Most states, if not all, would recognize that as a valid marriage ceremony, if the officiate signs off on it.

But is that REALLY what you want to remember about your wedding?

To me, marriage is a significant and important event in your life. Personally,  the above "Bill and Sally" ceremony doesn't reflect how important a step you are taking, by getting married.

 I'm going to give you some of my thoughts on the subject.

How long should a wedding ceremony be? Like most wedding questions, the answer is, whatever you want it to be.

The shorter wedding is for small weddings of just a few people in a park or a residence.

It's for people who have been married before. Now I'll admit we do the shorter weddings for first time married....especially for those in the military. And a lot of others. And we'll gladly do this type of ceremony for you if you are sure that is what you want.

But it is my personal opinion for most of you,  you are short changing yourself.

A marriage is a significant in your life. I know I keep repeating myself but it is a point that needs to be repeated.  And that's just as true if you been married a time or two before.

Even if you plan to get married again later.... within your church, on a future trip etc., this wedding will always be the one when you were first married. It's the one that really counts. The one later is just performance art.

We offer two types of ceremonies. One short....seven to ten minutes. We call it the WedXpress "Mini" ceremony.

We also offer a longer ceremony, generally between 20-30 minutes.  Both types are written to be pretty and meaningful ceremonies....but they are different lengths and purposes. Both types can be religious or non religious.

The WedXpress "Mini" is a pretty ceremony of 7-10 minutes, offering limited choices but a pretty ceremony.

The longer "Gold Standard" wedding offers the couple complete choice of every component of the wedding ceremony which include our planning services. It won't generally be shorter than 20 minutes and can go as long as it needs to based on what you want to do. Generally they run 25-30 minutes.

Just because you've done it before it is still a big deal, something to be celebrated, and to be entered into earnestly and sincerely . If you've got the right person to perform your ceremony the third time you won't get the same ceremony that the first time married gets.  And the longer ceremony with choices provides you the opportunity to acknowledge or incorporate, family,  children and a lot more.

When in doubt I tend to opt for the longer ceremony with lots of choices. I know more needs to be said here, but I'm tired of writing. Maybe in later edits.

If you'd like to talk about "your" wedding, whether short or long, don't hesitate to call us at 314-965-5648,

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

So you want to get married outdoors



So you want to get married outdoors


You can. We marry many couples in an outdoors setting. And there is something very beautiful about an outdoor wedding if everything goes well.

Some things to remember.

You can't control the weather.  Always have a backup plan for bad weather. You may not have to use it but what if you do and don't have a backup?

A few years back I was booked to do an April wedding at a well known St. Louis County park, frequently used for ceremonies. The location selected for the wedding was not covered in any way.

I awoke to rain. It had been raining the entire day. Not just a drop here and there, we're talking sheets of water being driven by 40 mph winds.  I tried calling the bride starting about four hours before the ceremony, once I saw that the day appeared to be a washout. I didn't get an answer so I left a message .  I called several more times before leaving home to no avail. 

As is my routine, I arrived at the park about an hour before the ceremony. The rain had not let up, in fact it was probably raining harder, and the temperature had risen to the high of 50 degrees. I could look out over the site of the ceremony and it was under a small pond of the fallen rain.

Once again I tried calling the bride, only to have the phone answered by the Bride's mother. I told her I had been trying to call, was at the ceremony site, and I asked if there was a  another location due to the cold and rain? The Bride's Mother angrily asked "Are you telling me that you refuse to do the wedding where we contracted?" I must admit that this made my blood boil but I considered that she was probably pretty stressed, so I  quietly stated, "No mam,  I am not refusing, just telling you that I don't think your guests are going to like standing 30 minutes in 50 degree weather in the driving rain. Also, I must say that if we do have it in the rain you would have to be responsible for anything I brought that was damaged by the rain. "  She wasn't a happy camper. In order to help calm thing down I asked, " Are you having a reception?" She said they were to gather at a local banquet center several hours later. I asked her "Why not move the wedding to the reception hall?"

"I'm busy right now, you call them." she noted. "It's not my place to call them really. I'm sure since you've already dealt with them they'd be happy to help you," I told her. Voice moving up several steps she yelled, " Didn't I tell you I was busy? Why won't you help me?"

Being the peacemaker, I called the banquet hall manager and explained the situation. He asked why I was the one calling, and I told him the mother was pretty stressed and was mad at me because I suggested that she make the call. He was perfectly willing to host the wedding an hour earlier than the reception. "Tell her it will cost $150.00 more, "he said.   "Wait," I said," you tell her, here is her phone number."  "No" he said," you already told me she's mad at you....you tell her."  After calls back and forth I got everything arranged. Originally scheduled for 2:00 pm the wedding was rescheduled for 4:00. We started at 4:40 as the bride spent 40 minutes throwing up in bathroom before we started.

From then on I always ask my clients if they have a backup plan for an outdoor location ceremony.

It's not just rain you have to worry about with an outdoor wedding.  Temperature, both heat and cold must be considered.  I've done weddings where the guests were mostly elderly and they melted in 100+ degree heat. I've had guests, family and members of the bridal party faint from the heat.

 Sun position in the sky at the time of the service is another thing to keep in mind. Try to pick a spot where the sun isn't going to blindingly in our eyes, or the eyes of your guests.

Wind is also a consideration. Weight everything down in an outdoor wedding. The aisle runner, flower arrangements, tables, photos, and programs may all be "Gone with the Wind," with a good gust. Beanbags or Sandbags work well for arrangements, tables, photos etc. The aisle runner can be tacked down with long nails on both sides about four feet apart.

In choosing your outdoor location always consider who else might  be attending. I've done weddings where there were homeless folks bathing in fountains behind us during the ceremony, in spots sure to be in the wedding photos; I've also seen homeless folks going through the receiving line after the ceremony. I've got nothing against the homeless....it is a nationwide problem with no easy solution. But I also know most folks don't necessarily want them at their wedding.

Also consider whether the ceremony site is close to the road and/or the a high traffic area at the time the ceremony is scheduled. I've been at outdoor services where rude drive-by comments, spoiled the mood.

Still, all considered, outdoor weddings can be wonderful. Just plan it through, take these extra few steps and say a little prayer.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Another Way to Use Video in Your Wedding

Remembrance Weddings





a service of the Spiritual Growth Fellowship
a  church of The Sovereign Holy Order of Saint Raphael

Our Mission:
Romantic Personal Wedding Ceremonies You’ll Remember Forever
Beautiful, Meaningful & Memorable

The Most Reverend Doctor Charles E. Million, D.D.
13001 Dieterle Lane Saint Louis, MO 63127

 Phone: 314-965-5648 Toll Free: 888-521-8146 Cell: 314-503-4727 Fax: 314-984-0828

Another Way to Use Video in Your Wedding


We are seeing video used in more and more weddings these days preserving your ceremony in its entirety so that you can look at it later and provide copies to your family, friends, your dog groomer.  We've worked with many fine videographers and have seen many great video records of that special day.

But there is another way to use video that you might not think of, and your other videographer may not be prepared to provide so they don't promote it.

Over the years we've had many couples who had a beloved relative that could not attend the ceremony because they were in a hospital, nursing home etc.  Now it is possible to set up additional video to stream your wedding exactly as it is happening through the internet and be easily accessed by that great aunt, father or grandfather too ill to attend.

 It works to connect and share to groups of family and friends who can't attend due to distance, out of town, across the country or around the world.  

We have an experienced provider of video streaming services who will turn your special  wedding day into "an international event."